Friday, January 20, 2012

Why I'm Still Unable to Overcome my Fear?

p/s: I know you might be reading this, but, this is the only place where I can pour my feelings and memories at. I hope you won't mind though...

We had a really good time together although both of us are unsure of what to do today. It's my first date. And you made it the most awesome one! Although we never did much stuff, but, I do really really appreciate the time being together. I don't mind what we are going to do, because I know I just want the time to be with you. Just you and me.

I actually knew what you wanted to say, and I could sense that you could have been thinking of how to say it out to me. I don't wanna push you to say it because I realized that I might not be ready for new relationship yet. I really really like you. You're the first person who made me feel so special, the way you treat me, the way you cared for me and all...(Shit, I don't know why am I crying while writing this) But, I'm really afraid that you could have just perhaps, had a crush on me. And I'm afraid that you'll get bored of me if I'm too demanding. Sorry, but I'm not demanding for you to be rich or good looking, but what I really wanted is to spend more time with you. I know it would be hard for us since we are in such a stressful uni, and life could be hard when we ourselves don't even have much time for ourselves. I'm afraid that if I demand for your time, you'll get bored of me. =(
This is why I actually afraid to accept you too...Somehow, my heart sank when all of sudden I rejected you. You've been a part of my life. And you'll always be.
I just need some time....=(

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