I felt like shouting...
I have not make any effort while everyone's was studying...
What is wrong with me?
Can't you stop yourself being a pig?!!!

Encouragements

Pn Teh just gave me one word of encouragement. I'm really touched that she still remembers me. And her concern...She's like a mother to me.

For me, she's the best Chemistry teacher in the whole world. Nobody can be compared to her. She and Mr. Lok was the best. I hope I can consult Mr Lok to teach me instead. Is there any tuition classes for university students? Need help desperately:(

Self-studying was hard. Especially when I know NOTHING bout physics. Everything you learn in NUS is so much in depth. The recommended textbooks doesnt really help much. IT confused me instead. Sigh.

Due to the motivation and encouraging words from them, the people I love, I will work hard and try my best. I am trying my best not to compare myself to her, but it's a little hard. I always compare myself with her. Sigh. Should stop it...Can someone tell me how to stop comparing??

p/s: I just realised his existence. And I almost got ..... I mean...I've seen him twice or two. But today, he looked more handsome than before. Oh my...Stop it. I come NUS to study. Not finding bfs...!! By the way, I'm still thinking of him. Shit! Can my mind please stop it??!!!

Another post...Related to my CM1101 module:)

http://csep10.phys.utk.edu/astr162/lect/light/zeeman-split.html

http://www.daviddarling.info/encyclopedia/C/contspec.html

Happy studying, Sher lyn!!
You can do it too if others can...
Jia you!! Gambatte!:)

Thanks YouTube:)

I'm taking 5 modules this semester, which is yeah, the minimum number of modules a student can take in NUS.

Japanese Language, LAJ 1201...I like learning new languages..But for someone who has no prior knowledge of it, it's DAMN tough. ( I know many people here studied before Japanese either by themselves or taking private lessons...I know because most of my friends who took the same module as me learned it before even though the JAP lecturer said that students who have prior knowledge of Jap are not allowed to take. But who knows ?? Whatever lar...)

CM1101, a Chemistry module, which is my core module...Honestly I am still a little blur about it..Since I have no knowledge about physics...I'm grateful and thankful that there are people who are willing to teach me..But I'm afraid to ask them to teach me because I'm slow in learning...Especially when I don't even know any physics term...It's like an ALIEN to me...So, before I can start studying this module, I have to know more or less about light, photons, waves, particles, de Broglie's principle, the uncertainty principle and etc....There are f***ngly more stuffs that I have to learn MYSELF...Too afraid to ask people to teach me this because I'm scared that they might have no patient in teaching a nooby person like me...

LSM 1101...The prof is okay...Well, sometimes his lesson was a lil unclear...Due to his pronounciation as he was a Japanese....Anyway, I think so far things he thought I've learned before...So far, I think his lectures are still managable...Worst come to worst I will spam him with questions and consultations...

IT1001...A boring lecture..But I've chose this because I have little knowledge regarding computers and computing stuff...So, I was hoping to gain some knowledge in it...So far, I guess I learnt just 2%?? Haha....Havent read through the lecture notes since I was busy with my CM1101 and LAJ1201...

FST1101...It is a food science course...THE MOST INTERESTING LECTURE ever!! I LOVE MY PROF! Haha..I find that this lecture was the most enjoyable ones compared to all...Perhaps maybe due to the small cohort, we can have more interactions during classes..It was absolute FUN! ANd I guess that I will love it in the long run, hopefully:)

Getting know seniors like Wei Bin, and my class mates...It was really kinda fun to meet new people...Wei Bin is a good senior...Funny as well...Great sense of humour...Haha...But he's a smart guy:)
Sean Tay, our class rep, just know him a lil yesterday when he asked us to have lunch together after our lab sessions...Haha...Knew the cool guy, Zhi Yang too...He's just too COLD from the look of his face...So cold till I don't felt like knowing him..But when he asked me who I am, so, I just replied...He's still as cool as he is...Well, I have no comments bout him...
Then Jonathan Phoon...A Msian!! He was so bad that he and Pei Yee cheated to me and Kar Hui that they are from Brunei!! >.<
Both of us got cheated, but in the end, they said that they joked. Lol. Why I'm so easily got cheated?? !!!
Anyway, they are just having fun...I am not really offended. Haha...
Francine really looks like Chong Shir Leen ler!!!!! OMG...I was wondering, are they cousins???? Lol...She really looks like her!!! The face, the eyes, the nose....Oh my oh my....I'm not dreaming, am i?

Btw, heard that Felicia Chin, a Mediacorp artist will be studying in NUS Biz...Oh my God...She really caused the stir in NUS...Hope to meet her though I'm not really a big fan of her...But the idea of being in the same university with a celebrity is really something UNEXPECTED for me...Haha...:))

Oh yeah...Felt like posting this web link to help in my studies:))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fUdeck487w&feature=related

When was the last time I stopped smiling happily?

I felt that my happiness faded since I came to NUS.

Is it because I still have yet to adapt well?

Or is it because I'm feeling stupid?

Why did I choose NUS in the first place?

These questions made me felt as if I'm doubting myself.

I know efforts are needed to be here. Really extra effort.

I still remember when I was in Form Sixth, I still get my beauty sleep every evening...watch my TV series....Online-ing...and so on...Life was not so busy as I felt now...I'm more relaxed a lil...

But now?

I felt like dying.

I was hoping that the world ends at any seconds so that I will have worries no more!

I admit that I might not be able to adapt with the surrounding environment when all the world class's best is around me. Almost everyone , well yeah, everyone here are fuckingly smart! Mind you, you have to put in extra effort to be at least an average...Nothing else you can do...Well...I'm really emo today...Maybe it's been a week or two im feeling this. Well yeah, I don't have nothing else to say...Not that I'm going to say that I will study or whatsoever, cause I know my actions is not equivalent to words...

Life in NUS

Honestly, life in the university wasn't something really fun...Especially when you have lots of stuff to do...

Sigh...I was thinking, did I made a wrong choice to come here in NUS?

People here are so smart. I felt so down and scared. But yet, I did not do a thing to upgrade myself. I kept saying that I will do this and that...But in the end, nothing comes up.

Sometimes it's better to left things unsaid, I guess.

People here are so hardworking and smart. And I'm here, slacking, doing nothing. At least during form sixth, I did study a lil. Better than now. I felt like I'm doing nothing when the rest are busy with homeworks, assignments, studies...

What am I doing here? Sleep...Fuck myself!

I guess I need motivation...

P/s: I really don't like some people here, acting in front of me. Saying that they did not study, but if did not study, why their notes are so "clean" and scribbled here and there even before the lecture starts? Sorry if you read this and you think you are one of them. I just don't like people acting in front of me and lied to me.

Wonders ~~

Wondering...why people who are kind initially will become wild and bitchy all of sudden?
Wondering...why some people here are so open that they fondled each others' thing in public?
Wondering...why people here are giving "free shows" most of the time?

A friend of mine, she used to be my close friend when I was in primary school...She was a decent type of girl last time....Time somehow brought us apart...We lost contact...I met her again...And she looked wilder and bitchy now. She was no longer the old friend I used to know. Time changed her so much...The way she talked now also sounds sarcastic...I don't blame her. Environment around her might have changed her to who she is today. She chose to have this type of wild life, then she will have to suffer in the future. I'm not cursing her, but I did advise her not to mix with those wild boys too much and she just wouldn't listen. So, there's nothing else I can do.

And we passed by KE Hall to go to PGP tonight. IT was already late at night. And I happened to saw a girl in her sexy nighties, with her half-naked boyfriend in a room. I just realized how spoilt the society is. Why is it that guys are allowed to enter a girl's room so openly...???
Why girls today doesn't know what's the importance of virginity and image of themselves and their parents?? What they care about are just the so-called FUN of having that bored stuff ??
Well, maybe I just need to get used to the norm here I guess. I hate seeing this yuckie things which people may want to see, but I have no interest in any of these. Please let my "gifted ability" to others instead.

Stop talking b****

Sherlyn, please. Stop talking b****. Stop talking as if someone's gonna say that you're dumb if you don't talk.

Stop talking bull**** and asking SILLY questions and make yourself look more stupid and dumb...

L said that I'm good for nothing the other day. That made me break out in silent. He might not know that he accidentally hurted my feelings with his word. But I tried my best not to show it...

A said that I'm stupid for asking him a silly question. Okay. I'm NOT SMART. I know everyone here are SUPER SMART except the odd me.

Did I made a wrong choice to come here? Yeah, I guess. I felt myself so inferior after coming here. I'm afraid. I really need a light to guide me. I need a shoulder to cry on when I'm down and afraid. I need an ear to listen to my problem.

I know that I cannot regret on the path I chosen. I've came this far and chosen this path, I have no way to go back. I even go against everyone's will to come here. How can I go back?
The only thing I can do now is to be tough, be strong...
I shall not shed any tears in front of anyone I know here...
I shall not show how fragile I'm inside...
No matter how I wanted to cry, I will never reveal it to anyone I know here...

Frustrated Day

I went to IT Coop today for 3 times. Yes. To and fro for 3 times.

First time, I was a little pissed because I felt so hot. Damn weather, I HATE YOU! After reaching there and tell my problem, the technician taught me the same way Yugene did for me. But there's one step where he asked me to copy the files from the "Download" file to the ":C" program...

Okay. I go back and try. Again cannot.

Second time, I went there again. I was waiting for the lady to come back, with full hopes that my printer will be installed successfully. But the lady told me to bring my laptop and she will ask the technician to try and help me with it. Okay. Another time have to rush back before 12.30pm because she told me that they are closing at 1pm.

Then I got back, with my printer, again to IT Coop. The technician tried and tried and tried. There was once this F***ing FAT ASSHOLE guy almost knocked down my laptop. What the hell! He broke my laptop, I'm gonna ask him to get me a Macbook instead. Damn stupid guy. Look where you lean on la, fucka!

I was so pissed d, he some more get on my nerves. The technician tried to help me, but in the end, they said cannot. They tried on another laptop with windows 7 x64...But can. The lady said that it must be something wrong with my laptop since the printer works fine for other laptop. She then ask me to come again tomorrow or Tuesday. I felt hot tears in my eyes that time. My heart is so pain. I used so much money to buy a stupid laptop and I'm really frustrated. My heart aches. I don't intend to let anyone know how I'm feeling right now, but I really need to shout it out!!

I really hope that my printer can be installed:(

Downs of my Life

Baby are you down, down, down, down, down,....Down~~~Down~~~
Even if the sky is falling down~~
Down~~~Down~~~

So, you're trying to tell me don't worry??
Well, it's hard...
I don't know what happened...
All things ...bad luck falls on me...nowadays...

I felt like immersing my face into a shoulder...

I bought a printer today. It costed me SGD 99...
And...I can't install it:(

I wanna cry...It's tough for me to carry the printer back to IT Coop and then carry it back to my room...It's so heavy:(

Why does this bad luck falls on me?? !!!

The End of It

I finally knew who is the girl that he likes. Well, I realized that he was just a person I had a crushed on. Not love. I have to stop it before I let myself being so immersed into it. Well, the girl was really pretty,smart and rich, while I'm the opposite. Instead, I'm the UGLY DUCKLING.

Thanks to Wan Jun for pointing to me who is the girl. They have been honest to me by telling me straight-forwardly that I'll never be able to beat with her. She has almost all the things that a girl wants.

Therefore, I decided to give up on that person after I realized all these. Anyway, cut the crap. I'll never be in a relationship for at least 2 years from 13/12/09...Whatever it is, I know that I'm fated to be single, as predicted. I can accept that fact. It's okay.

School semester is almost started. Recently there's been a lot of happenings around me. Lots of unlucky things happened like getting a correct bus at the wrong bus stop, fought with dad, misunderstandings between friends, and so on....

All these caused me so emo... But I've been trying to find ways to solve them...I miss my baby...I miss my Hua Lian and Convent besties...:(