Sunday, April 29, 2012

Thoughtful Man

Worried bout me for eating only biscuits and instant noodles everyday (this few weeks), he came over just to make sure that I get to eat better foods and the food that I wanted to eat. :')
That person I mentioned was of course someone who is special to me. Someone who has been constantly adding colours to my life. I don't know how life would be before meeting him. But after being with him for 3 months, I'm sure that he's the guy that I want to be with in future. :)
I don't think I would able to find any guys like him. Who cares so much bout me, who constantly makes me felt loved, who keep adding sparks in my life. Yesterday, he came over and I felt so "xingfu" because I felt so nourished with foods :) Thank you a lot, piggy :)

And few days ago, we Skype-ed. Now, I thanked Skype for able to make us study together as well :) LOL-ed. And his mother "met" me in Skype. Although we've never really talk to one another before, but, she is really cute and funny. Cause his mom very shy. :P  Hehehe. And I kinda like his mom too. :)   Hehehe. Don't know why, but somehow, it seems like there's a connection. :)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Turn Down the Voices in My Head

It's so frustrating.
Can someone tell me how to turn down these voices in my head?

The voices of 2 "person" talking, one is the "good" and the other is the "bad" one...
I really don't know what to do.
Plucking my ears with my earphones doesn't seem to work this time.
It drives me crazy soon! >o<

Please, I really don't wanna think about it. I just want to continue to be happy despite what happened. Please stop fighting over this small matter.  >o<

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Things I want to do After Exam

Download from NUS Library:

1) New Scientist....(highly recommended by Prof Ong who emphasized that those articles written are of interesting findings and is written in simple English that you can easily understand)
2) Scientific American ...(which has a wide range of topics )

Never know there would be an NUS lecturer who can influence me so much...

To improve my English...To read more...To enjoy writing lab reports...
Well, I would say, only because of her, I learnt a lot on the ways to write a scientific lab report. Because of her, I read lots of journal papers to support my findings....

She must be one of the most influential people I've met so far. Never did I felt so enthusiastic to read up more papers or articles, not to mention to improve my English.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Painful heartbeat

The moment you got so stressed. The moment you felt so down. And when the worst moment came, your heart felt so painful that every heartbeat makes you felt like dying.

This is what I'm going through now. It felt so painful that it seems that it's better without heartbeat. What to do to make my heart feels better? I prayed and prayed.

Tomorrow there's a quiz, Thursday there's a test. And I can't even focus anything. Please, don't let anything happened to Whisky. Don't let anything happened to my family. Dear God, I beg you. Please.
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Bad Dream+Bad News

This morning I had a bad dream. I don't wanna tell out as I'm afraid that it would be true...It's a matter of life and death.

Then, just now, sis said that Whisky is sick, and slimmed down a lot. Refused to eat, and looks sad. Dear God, please, not now. Or else, I'd rush back to Taiping. Don't you know how much Whisky means a lot to me? She means alot to me that I'm willing to give my life just to make sure she's safe.

Please, please, please. I hope nothing would happen to her. Felt like flying back now T___T

Monday, April 9, 2012

Freaging Hate This

I freaking hate it when I forgotten to take my earphones!
Damn it.
Hate these freaking bitchy noises.
Freaking hate this!

Should have bring my earphones!!!!
>.<

Bitch, please shut up!

p/s: Morning mood-swing.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Timid Heart

Sometimes, I hate myself for having a timid, weak heart and easily traumatized by violence.
No ghost movies scares or traumatized me to a large extent before.
But violence.

Each time I witnessed a violent scene, my weak weak heart uncontrollably beats rapidly. The other body mechanism is causing my whole body to shiver. It usually lasted for more than an hour before going back to normal. But the heart would somehow keeps on beating at a fast rate.

Sometimes, whenever my mind is actively trying to involve in such scene (means that my mind is brave - such as thinking that we can scold that person or fight back) but my heart is so timid that it sends the signal to my brain faster than my mind, causing my body shivered uncontrollably.

Just like yesterday, I was working on my lab report while my bf was studying next to me. All of sudden, there's this Ancient guy whose hairstyle looks like The Beetles (I suspect he's a China guy cause he looks very China and also from the way he dressed), keeps on banging the table whenever there were noises. For godness sake, if he wants to study in a quiet place, he could have go to the library instead of the UTown area where there were seminar rooms. People at here usually makes a lot of noises and we must learn to discriminate those noises. I'm used to that.

Usually, I can study in a noisy place except when there were people talking near me. Failed to discriminate certain conversations though. At that time, everyone studying there also got shocked. Even the Jap-looking girl who just sat very next to him. At the mean time when I found his banging behaviour very disturbing, my mind is so brave that it keep telling me to go there and straightaway scold that guy.

But on the other hand, my weak heart send signals to my brain even faster than I could take any action, and the effect is, my heart beats unusually fast and I shivered uncontrollably. This is the effect when your body doesn't co-operate with your mind, I supposed.

 Actually, after approximately 12 hours from yesterday's time of incident, I am still traumatized and my heart beat rate was still unusual. :(

DEAR HEART, PLEASE BE STRONG!!!!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Don't know How

I realized sometimes when I'm pissed or angry with someone else, I tend to hit myself. Like the other day, when the stupid bus is late, I'm fucking pissed, and when there's an itch on my lap, instead of gently scratch it, I took my sharp pen and poke that itch area with a great force to induce the pain. Maybe sometimes when I have nowhere to put my anger to, I tend to put it on myself.

And last Friday, I felt pissed again because the bus was late again. Then there's a stupid itch on my hand. Fuck that, so I do the same thing and I didn't realize it bleeds till my friend asked me why there's blood on my left hand.

ARGHHH!!! I don't know how to control my patience! BUT SERIOUSLY, I  REALLY HATE SLOW NUS ISB BUS!!! ALTHOUGH I CAME EARLY, I STILL HAD TO WAIT FOR MORE THAN 15 MINUTES MOST OF THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY ALSO LIKE THAT! I'M NOT PAYING NUS TO GET ANGRY OKAY!!! ALTHOUGH THOSE FEEDBACKS WE FREAKING GAVE OED, WHY THE BUS DRIVERS STILL SO LAZY?!!!!!

PLEASE DO MORE INSPECTION ON THOSE LAZY DRIVERS AND JUST FIRE THOSE LAZY DRIVERS LA!!! WHEN IT'S SAID TO ARRIVE 15 MINUTES, PLEASE BE PUNCTUAL BY 15 MINUTES! NOT MAKING US TO WAIT!~~ EVEN A SLIGHT 5 MINUTES IS ALREADY CONSIDER EXPENSIVE FOR ME OKAY!! YOU CAN'T PAY ME BACK MY TIME!!!!! STUPID ISB!