Strict teachers are the best teachers

All along I liked strict teachers. In every way, to be honest, every encounter of mine with strict teachers made me progressed a lot. From primary education to higher level education, all those teachers that are very strict to us made me like learning better. Don't ask me why. It was like as if they had some aura which makes me more interested and motivated in studies.

I remembered when I was in Primary 3, my Maths was damn bad before Primary 3. I seriously don't really know how to do simple calculations like addition and division (most of the time I spend on slacking, never been serious in studies, that's why my calculation was really really bad). Then, I met this superb strict teacher in Primary 3 ( Gosh, I seriously can't recall her name :( ), it was then I improved in my Math a lot and was motivated to do lots of question.

Then, when I'm in Form 3, my History teacher, Pn. Markizah, was superb strict as well! Seriously, everyone in the class was damn scared of her! Freaking scary and strict. BUT, I liked her a lot! Cause because of her, I like History. When I was in Form 1 and 2, I never even liked History. But after she taught us History in Form 3, I seriously liked History. Then when I was in Form 4 and 5, I hated History already because of my slack teachers. :(

Then, in Form 6, Pn Teh, oh my God. I seriously love her a lot! She's very dedicated to mark every past year questions that I did. Hahaha...She's strict towards us, but can joke around at times. So, it depends on her mood. I seriously miss her! Because of her, my Chemistry improved a lot.

Now, I encounter another strict lecturer, Dr. Ong. We same surname eh... :))
Hahaha! But she's furiously strict too. From grammars to punctuality. Somehow, I wished she's my mother though :P
I was really interested in her module, but because of lab reports, I've been lagging a lot! T_______T
I wish to start my revision on her module asap. ROAR. Save me from lab reports! :(

And I just knew today that she's an ovarian cancer survival. She told about her experience in class. Although it sounded awkward to those 3 guys in the class, (hahaha) but she told us to create awareness to us and asked us to go for Papsmear or whatever check up as early as possible. It's funny when she said that the guys don't have to go for Pap smear but go for their own related check ups. LOL! She always talked about her experiences and it's really interesting!

Really admire her a lot. She's from a poor family but now she's rich and successful! Imagine being able to treat yourself with luxurious food and delicacies. OMG. It's one of my lifetime wish! :/
And also, she talked about her ovarian cancer experience today. It's really SCARY!
She told us that a normal size of the ovary is about half of the thumb's size. And hers grew to a size which is equivalent to 2 palms of a man. Omg. It's like more than 1000x bigger. :((

I wished she'd be in the best health after all. And bless me for her paper. :(

Anticipation

Today's is like any other day when I was anticipated for my exam results. Nah, today is not the release of exam results, but getting back my lab report grades from my favourite lecturer. And this time, my lab report improved! I got "Good" (in which she rates at 7.5/10, and "very good" = 8 and above). Never did I anticipate for my lab report grades, but this time, I was eager to know. 2-3 days of hard work for the lab reports is definitely worth it! :)

I saw a girl getting "Very good". Hmmm...And she's from China. The pretty China girl in my class.

So, my next aim is to:

IMPROVE IN MY NEXT LAB REPORT! MUST GET "VERY GOOD"!!!

Precautions had to be made:
1) MY GRAMMARS!!! Please, no more grammar errors! Double check, double check, and double check! and Reread, reread and reread!

2) Be selective to my choice of reference! In my 2nd lab report, I accidentally cited an information from the ebook named "Bryophyte" which is unrelated to brocollis, but the information of ice crystals was there! And Dr. Ong rejected that reference and asked me to be more discriminate in my choice of reference.

3) REFERENCE, REFERENCE, REFERENCE!  Make sure every sentences written that can be cited, MUST CITE THEM! Cause even one minor sentence she also asked for reference :(

Although she's very very strict to us in every ways, I still adore her. Perhaps, she was also brought up that way in her past experiences and moulded her into a successful strong woman now. And hence, she was also moulding us now :)

T issues

T issues

Realized that it's best to keep it to yourselves.
Cause no one would understand it.
Perhaps it could be kept for a life time.
Cause it's too hard to t someone.
I've learned it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it .

A good quote from Lady Gaga:
Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection



***Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand.
***I didn't want to admit it.  It was easier to lie.  Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.

Endless Love

ILOVEYOUTOO! <3 <3 <3
Thanks for being with my through thick and thin. :)
Thanks for accepting my evil-ness when I'm angry.
Really thanks a lot for accepting me the way I am and being a good listener whenever I got so much things to complain about schools and works. :/
Lastly, I truly love you too :)
You're everything to me. :)

I wonder HOW...

Format of the exam paper:

1 short essay question (worth 30 marks, with 3 parts)
3 choose 2 LONG ESSAY question! (each worth 20 marks)

And for LONG ESSAY question, 2-3 pages is not sufficient to get you an A! The highest you can get is only around D+. From my past experiences, students usually write about 8-10 pages. OMG OMG OMG! 8-10 pages!!! How the hell can I  write 8-10 pages in only 40 minutes!???

And for short essay question, MAX is 2 pages! Too many pages won't give you any extra marks!

Sigh...All of sudden I'm so dead worried. I hope I don't get brain dead at that time. Please po pui me :'(

A Caring Boyfriend

First time to have someone to watch me to sleep when I'm sick.
This post was meant to be posted about 2 weeks ago when I was terribly sick, but because of too much load of works, I never posted it.
I post this just to pen down my memories. I'm worried of getting amnesia one day. So, this blog can keep a collection of my little little memories and my thoughts.

He knew I was sick and had a sore throat. And he accompanied to my lecture although he didn't take Psychology module. I was shocked when he gave me a bottled water chestnut drink and the herbal candy for my throat. I was touched because no one does any thing like this for me before. Although it's just some simple thing, but often, simple things like these always touches people's heart, right? :)

Then, he accompanied back to my room and make sure that I get my sleep (cause I'm that type who will chiong for work to meet my own deadlines).  He did this to make sure that I don't make my body tired out.

And seriously, I'm sorry because I really not good at taking care about myself. Afraid of going to doctors and things like this and even my body is weak, I still ignore those body symptoms. I know that before you, I'm not the kind of person who cares much bout my life and death. Before you, to me, death is nothing. Cause no one would care even if I left this world.

But when you nagged me yesterday, I realized that it was my mistake to not taking care of my health. I will try to go for check up after exams. Sorry that I really can't spare time to meet a doctor because of my packed schedules. :(

Tiring Week

Last few days had been a super tiring week for me. Sigh. But, more tiring this coming week with 5 lab reports to write:

 2 FST 2106 lab report (Brocolli and Cod Fish) [1 due next Wednesday and another due in 22/3];
 2 FST 2102 (Ash and sugar) [ both due next Friday]
 1 CM2142 ( Still don't know what experiment I'll be doing next week) [and it's due on 20/3]

See, how these lab reports is eating up my time????

Although it all started in this week, but so many lab reports to write. I know, some of it still got some dateline, but I set my own dateline to finish all these by this weekend. I wonder if I'm able to make it. Too ambitious huh?? :/

Well, set this aside. I still have a poster to make for FST 2201 Human Nutrition and it's due next month. Hmmm...Need to put efforts into it as well since it's freaking 10%!!! Oh gosh. And also there's one assignment on the amino acid thingy due next Friday.

Gosh gosh gosh! Needless to say, I need to settle all these freaking stuff latest by next week!

Oh, by the way, I checked my CM2142 results. It's actually quite expected (most of the questions that I answered, I got my marks except some stupid mistakes) and also I didn't get my marks because of not attempting the questions due to lack of time. (I know calculation stuff I'm slow in them. Sighhh...Need to increase my speed in calculation and calculator-punching skills) Though I'm slightly below average, but it doesn't kill me. I love Analytical Chemistry and I will do my best to score even better for final. I need to take note of the coming quiz which is on 12/4 too...

For Psychology mod, OMG! Seriously I didn't expect that I'll score slightly above average. I thought I'll do so badly. Average is 81 but I score 83 :/
I know it's damn bad right. It was actually due to my super last minute reading. I read my 200 pages of the textbook in 3-4 days time. Wth. Luckily I still manage to get around there ( I mean average cause I thought I'll be far behind average) Initially because of this initial thought, I thought that I will S/U it. But now, I guessed I have to change my mind. No more allowance of S/U option in my mind since I score quite okay. So, for finals I must jia you! I hope my mid term paper get A at least :(
I put a lot of effort in finding for sources and writing it leh...One personal reason is also because the topic was in the area of my interest, which is about dog. So, I'm a dog person, I love dogs, and when you asked me to write things bout dogs, I put all my passion into it. perhaps I'm a dog in the past. :)

Okay, gonna have my quiz later. Bye!

stressed and super duper unhappy.

Felt that something is lacking but don't know who to turn to.

When I already felt so unhappy and stressed, even the lappie and internet connection trying to play with me. Really hate the moment like this. Felt like screaming but doubt that anyone would heard it. Whatever. I can stand alone. Just need some patience and strength.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

The Best Best Friend

Everyone agrees that dogs are men's best friend. I agreed with this statement a lot.
Take a look at this picture which caused me to shed so much tears (cause it really resembles me, 100%)

In school, I had friends, but none of them are my best friends. Till Whisky came into my life, having "someone" to wait for me at home every day, having "someone" to bite my feet each time when I came back, having "someone" to show me how happy she is when she saw me...I truly misses every single moment of it.
Although before her I had a dog called "Puppy", still Whisky remains more in my heart, probably because of our close connection, and also because we slept together at night.

I will never forget her being my "alarm clock" because she's the one who wakes me up occasionally during school days. The way she act as my alarm clock is by "crying". HAHAHA! So cute right!!!?? :)))
When I saw this picture, I felt that it's talking bout me. PLease, I don't want it to happen. I want Whisky to stay healthy!! :((   I don't mind to give my 5 years of lifespan to her as long as she can stay longer. I don't know what I'll do, and how to move on if I really lose her.

Therefore, a lesson learnt from "10 Promises to my Dog" and also from this picture, I should spend every effort to accompany her. I know ever since I went overseas, it's harder for me to come back, and I can only come back every semester. And each semester when I go back, I don't stay very long. But, I must make an effort to stay at least 1 week. And during the weeks of staying with her, I must make her happy. Buy her foods, play with her and shower her with love. Create more memories with her. And spend more time with her.

#Misses those times of studying with her on my lap. And explaining things to her I learnt as if she can understand. Misses those times when she nipped my fingers. I like it when she bites my hand. (This sounds crazy, but it's fun to have her biting my hand. Anyway, she just bite as if she was chewing something, no much strength is involved)
# Seriously misses her. :'(

Building Trust: There's still a Limitation

Trust - when people talk bout trust, I always had a natural "filter". Although in certain things, my natural "filter" failed to filter what people said. As time goes by, when I found more lies in what people says, my natural "filter" began to adapt better, and started to filter a lot of things people said.

Well, maybe you can use the idea of vaccination. Like, you introduce a weak protein of the virus into the body or something like that to trigger the immunization as in the body's fighting system (white blood cells) will attack the weak protein of the virus and hence, when the 2nd time the same protein enters the body again, the body's army will do its job again or something like that. Paise, can't really remember my concept well but I know it's something like that.

But, this could have also caused a mistrust to people that you could actually trust them. Well, sometimes, it's could be due to the fact that I don't wanna get hurt again, and hence, my brain also reacted the same way by applying the filters. It's sort of like a protection prepared by my body. As in, for what you wanna get hurt for more than 10 times on the same or related stuff? But in other way, you can also relate it in a psychological way called "learned helplessness". Therefore,it could never be a 100% trust, but the highest trust score that my brain can accept is 90%. That's the highest. If one could obtain that score, you're awesome :)

Started to get a lil bored with FB

Yeah, this is the feeling I wanted : To Think that FB is getting B-O-R-I-N-G.
A lot of my friends think that since last sem, but I've never felt that way :/

And also, I realized that my news feeds nowadays are filled with posts by desperate girls. Well, they are those popular girls but sounds desperate? Damn, they are EXTREME ATTENTION SEEKERS. A bit annoyed la. Perhaps, maybe because I'm not famous like them? Well, anyway, I don't think that even if I'm famous like them, I will post things like them or post things to a lot guy's walls to seek for attention and get at least 10 likes.

Sighhhh, nowadays girls are trying to seek a lot attention, especially from guys. Well, what's their intention, I don't know. Just know that although I still FB everyday, my time spent is getting lesser. Good progress! :)
Maybe I should thank those desperados?:)

It's Going to be Our First Holiday :)

From the title of the post, you could have made a guess.

If you guessed that me and him would go for a holiday together, YES, you are RIGHT! :))

Hahaha...I was excited that I'm invited. Haha. But yet, a little afraid.
I'll be going together with his bunch of friends. To Penang~~Hahahaha...

I'm a Msian. But maybe a noob Msian ? Cause I didn't know how to use the public transports and where to go or where to eat? >.<
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....=((

The best I've ever had

Thanks alot for being there when I'm unhappy.
You made me felt so loved and all.
Yesterday when I received your message, I felt so sweet.
No one expressed how much they needed me before and I felt so happy to be loved and to love someone with all my heart.
Thanks honey for being the best.
We've been together for a month and you made me feel special every day:))

ILoveYouALot. Muackssssssss. :')

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Broke into tears

Today we had a lab experiment today. 10am, the TAs asked if anyone is here. Still got others not yet reached. So, I thought should be quite okay. 10.15 am, everyone reached, but my lab partner still haven't reach yet...Messaged her but she doesn't even reply.

So, the conclusion is, today I did the experiment ALL BY MYSELF!

I was lucky cause today's experiment is fast. I finished it myself in about 1.5 hours time. The lab supposed to finish in 2 hours time before the next group comes. Whenever they asked me, "Pam not here yet ar?" I REALLY FELT LIKE BURSTING INTO TEARS! In fact, tears already filled my eyes when my friends asked. Not even a "jiao dai"! 11 am, she also haven't reply. Till my friend helped me to call her (cause I don't felt like talking to her after making me accumulated so much anger and I think it's better not to talk to her also, or else, the volcano would erupted all of sudden) and her reply was: "Oh gosh, I just woke up".

WHAT THE HELL?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I tried to control my anger although deep inside it's boiling and pressure is filling up my body and mind. Seriously, I really don't know how to bring the issues with her, I'm afraid that if I bring up the issue to her, I'll be sharp in my words and hurt people's feeling or I'd scold her unintentionally. I don't want to scold people because it's just not my style. People asked me to talk to her but how? It's not easy. Especially I'm not the type who can control my feelings well. I might burst out any minutes when the pressure is on the highest level. If you know what I mean.

I am super angry. What if today's lab is the 4hours stretch? I know, maybe she want self study at home (cause she always skip classes and so on, freaking liar, I don't trust her whenever she says that she skipped class because she got something on with her friends)..IF YOU WANT STUDY, PLEASE DON'T SKIP LAB! LAB IS NOT UNIMPORTANT!!!! IT STILL HAVE A HIGH WEIGHTAGE PLEASE~!!! I KNOW YOU'RE EFFICIENT, SMART and SO ON, but PLEASE! DON'T DRAG ME TO SPOIL MY LAB RESULTS WITH YOU!!!

Yesterday's lab also she almost screwed up. I don't know if she reads the manual before lab. Where got people grind the same fresh brocolli for 5 different samples? We did 5 different treatments for 5 different brocollis, and she go and grind the fresh brocollis instead of the treated brocollis. I didn't know she did the wrong stuff, cause yesterday's lab too much things to be done within 3 hours and we splitted work. My part is the most time-consuming cause have to time every 30 mins for the incubation thingy. And I have no time to look after what she's doing. Then, I finished half of my part and while waiting for incubation, I decided to help her abit. I was super shocked that she grinded the fresh brocollis instead of the treated ones. Already left only 50 mins, and we're running out of time, and yet she did something super irrelevant. And come on, sometimes we should also make sense of what we're doing right? For what we do 5 fresh brocollis which is supposed to be the control???? And what to do with the treated ones then??? Sighhhhh....

Each lab with her I'm super stressed. Really really stressed. :'((

p/s: sorry, I put too much anger in jotting out my feelings. I know I sounded like bitching bout someone, but sometimes, I really can't take it. If you felt what I felt before, you'll know how angry you'll be. If not, please don't judge me! Cause you'll never know what I felt.