Asked...rejected...
Hinted...yet no actions...
Given hopes...and later you crushed all the hopes...
All of sudden, I felt lost of hopes...Don't dare to put too much hopes in whatever you say anymore...
Which is why I realized why people said action is louder than words...
Words are easily said. But actions show more than words.
Anyway, after much of the disappointments and being happy and suddenly being unhappy because of the crushed hopes, I decided that I would ask and hint no more. Unless, unless...something (which you should think it yourself).
Friday, September 14, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Shall Stop...being Clingy
Feels so silly to cry in such a public place. Know it's embarrassing (hope no one STOMP me, will KILL that person if STOMP me crying >.<), but these stubborn tears and nose keep refused to listen to my brain's command.
Dear tear glands and mucous glands,
Why must you all listen to my heart!!!!??? Can you please listen to my brain, stop crying and stop producing mucus, making me looks like I'm crying like ...I don't know...
Feel so sad whenever I see couples together....Seeing my friends meeting their boyfriends after lessons. Then, makes me wonder....where's ...mine.
Yeah, I know I'm too clingy. Sorry for that. I'll try to be more independent. Be less clingy too. I'll try.
Dear tear glands and mucous glands,
Why must you all listen to my heart!!!!??? Can you please listen to my brain, stop crying and stop producing mucus, making me looks like I'm crying like ...I don't know...
Feel so sad whenever I see couples together....Seeing my friends meeting their boyfriends after lessons. Then, makes me wonder....where's ...mine.
Yeah, I know I'm too clingy. Sorry for that. I'll try to be more independent. Be less clingy too. I'll try.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Accusation
I really hate being accused for things that I didn't do, or the things I didn't do on purpose.
Last Friday, we had a Sensory Lab. I placed my bag and my file on the first table next to a coursemate. Then, a friend called us up to go to the table behind the first table for HACCP discussion. V sat on the seat opposite to my seat. Since half of the first sem, V and I became enemies. I was still angry for what she said about how she deserve a scholarship more than me, but I do try to shook it away and tried to be good to her. But, V never appreciated that. So, I just remain unfriend with her.
But sometimes, she really gone too far. Not only she has been saying bad things behind my back, she accused me of "stealing" her friend's lab manual. Please, why the heck must I go still people's lab manual when everyone has the same lab manual??? I have no rights to point fingers to say that she's the one who placed my lab manual far away and put her friend's lab manual on my file. (Cause before I went to the other table for my discussion, I put my lab manual on top of my purple file).
Yes, I admit that I accidentally took her friend's lab manual as I mistaken it as my lab manual because it's on my file! And I swear that I didn't did it on purpose, because the sensory test was quite fast, and I was is the midst of the discussion. So, when the TA called our numbers, I just rushed to my seat and grab the lab manual on my file. And I seriously didn't know that the lab manual wasn't mine until I do my sensory test in the conference room! And that was the time when I started panicking during the sensory test because there's a form in the lab manual that we have to submit and I realised that lab manual I'm holding, wasn't mine and the form is not there!
I was lucky that my lecturer was kind to me, and gave me another form as I told him that someone misplaced someone else's lab manual on my place. Then, when I came back from the conference room, I put the lab manual on the first table back, just in case that person would frantically find her lab manual. So, I tried searching for mine, and it was far away from my place. I seriously unsure if that person did it on purpose, or genuinely misplaced my lab manual. Then, when I found mine, G shouted my name loudly and said that I took her lab manual. I apologized to her and explained what happened. Then I saw V whisper to her and said that I did it on purpose.
That time, I felt angered and a lil hurted. For I know that G will trust V's words. I broke down (of course not in the lab) and Grace and Weng Chan saw me crying, offering me help if I needed. Grace tried asking me what's wrong, but I didn't tell. I wanted to tell, but still, I think, even if I tell, there's nothing much they can do. I was a lil touched that Grace came to me to comfort me awhile, but, sometimes, I'm too scared of people. Maybe I find it too hard to open up to people from my course.
Well, there's one quote from Lea that I really think it's relevant to me:
"Don't be defeated by people's words. People may try all ways to bring us down, but it's so funny when they realized that their words and actions doesn't have any effects towards us. Just be ourselves :)"
Last Friday, we had a Sensory Lab. I placed my bag and my file on the first table next to a coursemate. Then, a friend called us up to go to the table behind the first table for HACCP discussion. V sat on the seat opposite to my seat. Since half of the first sem, V and I became enemies. I was still angry for what she said about how she deserve a scholarship more than me, but I do try to shook it away and tried to be good to her. But, V never appreciated that. So, I just remain unfriend with her.
But sometimes, she really gone too far. Not only she has been saying bad things behind my back, she accused me of "stealing" her friend's lab manual. Please, why the heck must I go still people's lab manual when everyone has the same lab manual??? I have no rights to point fingers to say that she's the one who placed my lab manual far away and put her friend's lab manual on my file. (Cause before I went to the other table for my discussion, I put my lab manual on top of my purple file).
Yes, I admit that I accidentally took her friend's lab manual as I mistaken it as my lab manual because it's on my file! And I swear that I didn't did it on purpose, because the sensory test was quite fast, and I was is the midst of the discussion. So, when the TA called our numbers, I just rushed to my seat and grab the lab manual on my file. And I seriously didn't know that the lab manual wasn't mine until I do my sensory test in the conference room! And that was the time when I started panicking during the sensory test because there's a form in the lab manual that we have to submit and I realised that lab manual I'm holding, wasn't mine and the form is not there!
I was lucky that my lecturer was kind to me, and gave me another form as I told him that someone misplaced someone else's lab manual on my place. Then, when I came back from the conference room, I put the lab manual on the first table back, just in case that person would frantically find her lab manual. So, I tried searching for mine, and it was far away from my place. I seriously unsure if that person did it on purpose, or genuinely misplaced my lab manual. Then, when I found mine, G shouted my name loudly and said that I took her lab manual. I apologized to her and explained what happened. Then I saw V whisper to her and said that I did it on purpose.
That time, I felt angered and a lil hurted. For I know that G will trust V's words. I broke down (of course not in the lab) and Grace and Weng Chan saw me crying, offering me help if I needed. Grace tried asking me what's wrong, but I didn't tell. I wanted to tell, but still, I think, even if I tell, there's nothing much they can do. I was a lil touched that Grace came to me to comfort me awhile, but, sometimes, I'm too scared of people. Maybe I find it too hard to open up to people from my course.
Well, there's one quote from Lea that I really think it's relevant to me:
"Don't be defeated by people's words. People may try all ways to bring us down, but it's so funny when they realized that their words and actions doesn't have any effects towards us. Just be ourselves :)"
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