Monday, October 31, 2011

Omg. This is super awesome



Guess that I have to do tonnes, millions of practice before I can enter ba...But the thing is, I'm a shy person. Imagine, even have to webcam my face, I'd freak out d lurh....Sob....>.< 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....Next time go lian xi ba...Need to overcome my fear in front of the public...Sigh...Even my presentation skills sucks because of this, now if ask me sing on stage, or in front of people, I already felt super pai seh...=(

But this is cool...Wish I can sing well...Wish I can enter...Wish ...Aiks...so many wishes....:(

Our Funny Conversation

Friend: Are you overdosing yourself with some sort of drug pills??

ME: ???? Huh????

Friend: That thing ...you always take...the one that looked like some sort of chinese pills. You know? The form of pills that you would see in ancient Hong Kong dramas....

ME: Hmmmm....You're talking about this???  *showing her the actual box of Hershey...*




Friend: ......Is it this what you're really taking?? but why you need to drink water after each time you take it???

ME: Hmmm...Cause it's heaty? :D   Aiks...It does look like some kinda pills. But it's not. I like its form. Hahah...I like people to feel curious on what I'm taking.  HAAHAAHAHA!!!

Friend: OMG. Your evil laughters again.

ME: Hehehe...But you like it right? hAHAHAHAHAH~~~

Friend: -.-''

ME: What's with that expression huh?? >.<

Friend: Hahahaha...*grinned*

ME: I HAAAATTTEEEE YOOOUUU...Merajuk dah! =(

Friend: ....Someone act merajuk pulak. Don't think I'd say sweet stuff to make you happy luh!

ME: Suak! >.< 

Friend: LOL. You really MERAJUK QUEEN hor!! Sure can get the Miss Merajuk Title!!!:P

ME: Hmmmmph!!! Felt offended le. HAHHAHAHAHA!

Friend: LOL.

ME: Hehehe...I where got merajuk? :) Act nia. :P

Friend: Your acting fail la!!!!

ME: =(

Friend: Go back study lur!!! >.< Tomorrow exam right???

ME: Yups lurpee!!! =(  

Friend: Jia you ba!!!

ME: Hehehe...Okies~~~ ♥ you ♥♥♥

Friend: -.-''

ME: Hahahaaha~~~

Friend: Okie lur...Go back study...=) ♥

All Cried Out - by Allure (Nice Song)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

About You Now

Maybe I'm wrong, you decide
Should've been strong, yeah, I lied
Nobody gets me like you

Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant?
There was nothing to compare to

There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing I'm sure of
That I know how I feel about you

*Can we bring yesterday back around?
'Cos I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now

All that it takes, one more chance
Don't let our last kiss be our last
I'm outta my mind just to show you

I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
'Cos I know how I feel about you

Repeat *

Not a day pass me by
Not a day pass me by
When I don't think about you

And there's no moving on
'Cos I know you're the one
And I can't be without you

Repeat *

I don't think I would do the last suggested ways though

Not everyone is born with a big brain. Not everyone can say things like ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’ with a straight face. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get an edge on the competition. Remember that scene from the Matrix, where the machines are using humans as disposable AA batteries? That’s not far off the mark. With over 100 billion neurons, your brain produces about 100 Watts of raw energy. The mind literally has a life of its own. And like your other muscles, the more you use it, the bigger it gets, the better it works.

If you’re looking to improve mental cognition, increase your memory, and enhance your alertness, here are 15 easy ways to give your brain a six-pack.



Exercise

1. Exercise: You knew it was good for your muscles, but the brain? Absolutely! More than 20% of the body’s blood and oxygen go directly to the brain (without passing GO or paying $200). Exercise, particularly cardio training, effectively increases the flow to the brain, keeping it a well-oiled machine. But if you’d like something a little more Zen, try Yoga. Many of the Yoga poses, like Downward Facing Dog, are specifically engineered to get blood to your brain faster, by positioning the head below the heart. But if you’re really pressed for time, something as simple as opening a window and getting fresh air can give your brain the extra juice it needs.



hydrate

2. Hydrate: If you’re looking for a little pick-me-up, don’t reach for your usual double espresso. Instead try drinking two glasses of water. The caffeine in coffee and soda may temporarily make you feel more alert, but in the long run will make you even more tired by dehydrating your muscles and constricting your blood vessels. And in large quantities, caffeine can send you running for the bathroom with a bad case of the trots, as it stimulates the spastic contractions of the intestine. Water, on the other hand, is a simple way to keep the mind alert and refreshed. And you can’t beat the price.



sensory stimulation

3. Find Stimulation: A friend of mine used to say, “I don’t need caffeine, I have Motorhead.” And he always got his papers in on time. Now heavy metal may not be your thing, but listening to music can increase your productivity. Just like the smell of dinner can bring on hunger pangs, engaging all five senses will stimulate brain activity. For example, the color pink is a visual aphrodisiac. The arousal will dilate your pupils, increase blood flow, and set off pleasure centers in the brain - all of which will make you more alert and focused. By decorating your work area brightly or switching your font color to something more vivid, you can work through boredom and fatigue. Aromatherapy can be enormously effective, as smell is the strongest of the senses. Lemon, peppermint, and cypress are several scents known to stimulate the brain. Or eating a peppermint candy will activate both scent and taste. Taking notes by hand instead of typing them, will help you retain the information more effectively, as the pressure points activated by holding a pen are linked to the creative and memory centers of the brain.



happiness

4. Think Happy Thoughts: We’ve all seen those Hitchcock thrillers, where a person does or witnesses something so terrible they completely block it from their mind. Well, on a much smaller scale, that kind of memory loss is happening all the time. The brain, particularly the memory, doesn’t respond well to stress. If you’re tense, overwrought, or unhappy, you’re much less likely to retain information or stay alert. Try to eliminate stressful influences from your life and workplace. Practice relaxation techniques, take a hot bath, or get a massage. Or fry up some bacon. I've often found that happiness = bacon. Anyway, your body is very tuned into your emotions, and it shows way more than you think.



play games

5. Play Games: Not Hide n’ Seek. Studies with dementia patients have shown that playing word games and puzzles can increase and even restore mental cognitive abilities. The crossword, a pub quiz, or Soduku: all these fun activities can keep your grey matter in the pink. And the best part is that you don’t actually need to know anything. This is one instance where winning doesn’t matter, because your brain responds to the attempt to solve the problem, not the knowledge stored in your head. Probably the best brain games are those with strategic goals like Chess, Risk, and Stratego, as the objectives are in a constant flux, and require more activity from the brain.



watch tv

6. Watch Quality TV: Wouldn‘t it be nice if that were true. Unfortunately, studies indicate that passively sitting in front of the tube is counterproductive. But if that butt-shaped indention in your recliner calls out to you, choose a game or quiz shows like Jeopardy, and try to answer the questions. Even if you have never heard of the Federalist Papers, your brain will be stimulated in the same way as if you were playing Trivial Pursuit with your friends.



surf the net

7. Surf the Net: Net-addicts unite! We’ve known it all along, and now we’ve been proven right. A recent study at the University of California Los Angeles found that searching the web stimulated centers in the brain that controlled decision-making and complex reasoning. A simple task like searching the web appears to enhance brain circuitry. Brain scans showed that much more of the brain was activated by internet use than by simply reading a book. Not to mention, there are all sorts of lovely online brain teasers and games on the web, just waiting to make you smarter. And here’s the clincher: the more you surf, the more your brain works.



diet

8. Eat Brain Food: Don’t go on one. Depriving yourself of food literally starves the brain and makes you dumb dumb dumb. But if you want to get peak mental performance from what you eat, here are a few things to remember. Protein is the main source of fuel for the brain. But don’t automatically switch over to Atkins, cause your brain also needs foods rich in crucial vitamins and minerals. It’s always better to get these from food rather than taking pills. Vitamin A, to protect brain cell membranes; B Vitamins, essential for neuronal growth and vitality; Vitamin C, so vital for brain function that its levels in the brain are fifteen times higher than anywhere outside the brain; Vitamin E, to prevent and actually reverse brain deterioration; Magnesium, to maintain the metabolic viability of neurons; Zinc, rids the brain of impurities such as lead to improve cognitive function; and Amino Acids, necessary to the growth and health of neurotransmitters.



fish oil

9. Load Up On Fish Oil: “Jeeves takes a size 14 hat, eats tons of fish, and works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.” When creating his immortal, all-knowing valet Jeeves, author P.G. Wodehouse gave the character an enormous, bulging cranium and a steady diet of brain-enhancing fish. It was no surprise when scientists proved what we knew all along: eating fish can make you brainy. Actually, it’s not the fish, but the Omega -3 fatty acids eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) that do the trick. These fatty acids keep the dopamine levels in the brain high, increase neuronal growth in the frontal cortex of the brain, and increase cerebral circulation. Which is a complicated way of saying that fatty acids make your brain work at top efficiency, kinda like a tune-up. But before you stockpile your pantry with tuna, remember that eating large amounts of fish can put you at risk to toxins and mercury poisoning. So it’s better to get EPA and DHA from alternative sources and supplements.



weed

10. Eat Weeds: Not the kind you hide from your parents, but herbal remedies. Eastern medicine is kicking ass and taking names where your brain is concerned. There are about a dozen or so ‘brain-boosting’ herbs, but the two most important are Ginkgo Biloba and Ginseng. As medicinal tonics go, it doesn’t get more powerful than Ginkgo, by enhancing cerebral circulation, which freakishly boosts cognitive abilities. Ginseng, regarded as the ‘Cadillac’ of Asian herbs, has astonishing neurological effects. Once believed to re-harmonize the body’s ‘yang energy,’ we now know that Ginseng helps the brain adapt to stress agents by heightening the productivity of the adrenal glands. The result is a balanced stimulant, that achieves brain arousal and alertness without the nervous, jittery, guy-from-Shine response of most stimulants.



learn

11. Learn Something New: This seems pretty obvious, right? But it’s not that simple. Very few people find the time to master new skills or even read a new book that isn‘t for work or class. Learning a foreign language, a new handcraft or recipe, or challenging yourself with an unfamiliar subject all increase brain growth, stimulating parts of the brain that may have been stagnant and untapped til now. But all this takes time, right? Wrong! Try spending 15 minutes a day on your new discovery, about the same time as all the commercials in an hour-long TV show, and you’ll be surprised how much you learn.



dont waste time

12. Don’t Waste Time: If your brain were a computer, how many times a day would it be flashing the hourglass sign? Albert Einstein, one of the world’s greatest thinkers, gave us the Theory of Relativity, and some very good advice: "Make everything as simple as possible." You can hardly expect your brain to perform at its best if it’s cluttered with non-essentials. The best way to organize your mind is to declutter your life. Maximize your time with a few personal alterations. Save time in the morning by deciding the night before what outfit you’ll wear. Make and keep a list of daily and long-term priorities, and don’t let your focus wander. Try multi-tasking. If you’re going to be in the bathroom awhile, take along a book or some work you need to finish (you’re not doing much else!) If you have a long commute or get stuck in traffic, make the most of the time by listening to an audio book. If you have to stand in line at the bank or the shops, bring along some notes you need to review or flashcards for that new language you decided to learn. Sure you may look funny, but you’re getting smarter.



improve memory

13. Actively Improve Your Memory: There’s a new character on Grey’s Anatomy who’s been stunning us with her photographic memory, recalling obscure articles from turn of the century medical journals, railing off the periodic table without batting an eye. For the actress playing this character to do so convincingly, I’ll bet she had to find a more efficient way of memorizing data. There are loads of different tricks and methods purporting to have the answer, but basically they all boil down to a few basic principles.

First, know how you learn. There are three basic ways of learning: visual, auditory, kinetic. You can figure out which one you are by listening, reading, and writing three different sentences to see which you remember the best. Once you know how you learn, optimize that knowledge. If you are visual, post-its will be a big help. If you are auditory, invest in a hand-held recorder.

Second, the most effective way to remember facts is by forming multiple associations. For example, you may remember the date of your dentist appointment, because that number was the age of your favorite singer when he died. Or something a little more cheerful, but you get the idea. If you’re a visual person, try to form an effective mental image or snap shot. For example, if you park your car in section 4b, you may remember that by taking a snap shot of four bumblebees hovering over the roof of your car. Try forming an emotional association. If your wife asks you to pick up something at the store, think for a minute how disappointed she’ll be if you forget it, and most likely you won’t.

Third, rinse and repeat. Repetition is a tried and true method of memorization. Just for fun, pull out the old SAT prep book from high school and see how much vocabulary you still remember. Give your memory a workout by re-learning these forgotten gems.



sleep

14. Rest Almost nothing is as crucial to proper and efficient brain functioning as sleep. Not everybody needs the same amount of sleep, but trying to think when you’re tired literally hurts. Here are some ways for your brain to get the most out of sleep. If it takes you a long time to fall asleep, don’t fight it or give up and take a pill. Instead ease into sleep by reading a book. But make sure it’s fiction. While you might think non-fiction would be more boring, studies show that non-fiction triggers forward thinking in the brain, which prevents sleep. If you wake up tired, it might not be because you didn’t get enough sleep. It could be because your brain is starved from fasting while you slept. Trying eating a low sugar, 100 calorie snack before bed. This won’t be enough to keep you awake, and it may prevent that tired-head in the morning. If, despite your best efforts, you don’t get enough Z’s, seriously consider a nap. Naps are not childish or European, they are a perfectly natural way to buck up your brain. A series of short naps (20-30 minutes) throughout the day won’t repair hours of sleep debt, but it will stave off the exhaustion that leaves your brain utterly useless and you without a job.



sex

15. Have Sex: Women will go weak at the knees at the thought of the size of your…brain. That’s right. A lot happens to the body during sex, and much of it goes on in your head. Your brain, that is. There is no activity that increases more blood flow to the brain, enhancing cognitive capabilities. Having sex also produces hormones that dramatically improve brain functioning. One example includes the 'trust' hormone Oxytocin, which is produced during sex. This increases your ability to think of original solutions to a problem while serotonin and dopamine, which surge after sex, help a person's creative thinking and calm, logical decision-making. And if you’re having any trouble falling to sleep, to give your brain the rest it needs, look no further.

I wanted to sing so badly

I like to sing...but I have no excellent voice.
I like to sing... but I'm afraid to sing in front of people, unless in a group or at least with a person together.

Argh...Tell me, how to be a singer if I'm like that?

I constantly had the urge of singing in mind, even when I'm studying.
And seriously, it's going to drive me crazy unless I go to sing K spontaneously.

This also explains why this crazy girl always do things very spontaneous.

And also, to be honest, I'm not sure why, but I'd prefer singing alone. Hahahaha! I'm Evil hor?

And the thing is, Clementi's PartyWorld so cruel. They didn't allow me enter alone unless I pay 2 people's price. They are more EVIL than me hor?
Really know how to make money sia...:/

Sigh...How how how? I wanted to sing the songs I want, but most Partyworld or KBox that I went doesn't have the songs I wanted. Sob max. Then I thought of singing K using the computer, but my laptop so cacat, only can use school computer, and if I used the school computer and sing in the middle of the night, people would think I'm crazy. :/

Sien max right? Haiz...Tell me what to do sia???? :(

Saturday, October 29, 2011

People That Wanted To WAtch You Die

In fact, I'm already dying. In a state of going-to-die. But the funniest part is, there are people HERE that wanted to watch you DIE.

They wanted to bring you down. They wanted to watch you die.  Although they knew you're in the state of near-death.

Well, I won't point out who. But I'm really frustrated. We had a project proposal which is due end of Week 12, and a presentation based on the proposal next Friday (4/11). So, we actually met up and make a dateline to every of us to complete it & read one another's work by Friday (28/10) . And next Tuesday(1/11)  we'll be having another CA, and now only she said that the things are different and not linked and so on.

It's okay. But the worst thing is, she insisted that we (me and I) to follow her style of working. In a way, must compromise with what she has done. SEriously, I don't know if she's evil or what ...But...argh...whatever. I just regard this as the people who wanted to watch me fall. Tear me down if you like. I'm not going to let you watch me fall!!

i'm just a temporary remembrance

I lied. I said I'm happy.but actually I'm not.

I thought I had wonderful people around me - but it took time for me to realize it's just for a temporal period.

I thought I can be happy - but I've tried too hard that I always ended getting hurt in the end.

In fact, I'm hoping for this tears to end when I can find someone who truly appreciate me for who I am.

I hate it that I'm always been forgotten.

Honestly I don't like being left out.

If there's really nothing in this world left for me to regret for leaving, I hope to go to a new place where I can start anew and no ones know me.
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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I really wished ....

I Realized that I'm Not Comfortable with Humans

This is the very first time. The first time I drifted myself from human beings. And I'm not comfortable whenever I'm with them. Just, any random people. Or even the people here.

People said, when we're unhappy, we must tell it out. But, what if you're not even feel comfortable to tell a single human about what you're feeling - your anger, your sadness, your happiness, and so on...

I understand I need to voice out my feelings to help myself in my process. But, I just...don't feel like they are the right person to talk with. Like with my counsellor, in fact, I didn't tell her all of the things I'm feeling. I don't know what they would think about me. I'm always in constant fear, in fear that if I could trust them to keep whatever I told them.

Is it because I've lost trust in human that made me became like this?

There's a lot of things I hide from people about what I felt - my anger, my opinion, and so on...
I just couldn't find someone that I can talk openly about everything, without the fear that whatever I said would leak out...

Even if I'm feeling stressed or sad, I refused to find someone to talk to, and often, I kept them to myself....

But, I only comfortable to write out my feelings out...=(

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You're the Only I Think Of when I listened to it...

Was listening to Bruno Mars' s song. And at the instance, it makes me remind of you. The day when we went out together. I'm happy to go out with you. And I'm always happy to be able to see you. Bet you'd never know that my heart beats when I know the time to meet you become nearer. It's already 4 months since I liked you. And I've never stopped liking you. But you'd never know...

Sometimes, I wished that you'd feel the same for me. But I know you wouldn't. Just simple because we are 2 different people. I refused to look at other guys I know. Cause there's nothing in them that can be compared to you. Do you know ?

It's okay. I hope that you wouldn't know though. Cause what I wanted most is the friendship between us. I'd rather hide what I feels about you than to letting our friendship fades because of it....

God, I am Depressed.

I tried so hard. I know I've tried. I had days of sleepless nights just to study and eat up those freaking notes. But nothing enters. Perhaps, perhaps it's due to my lack of sleep. Perhaps I didn't even give myself a rest at all. No, Not a single rest. But, I'm afraid I'm having not much time. I'm scared. There's so many to memorise. So many weird cycles and names ... What am I supposed to do?

I know my sister doesn't like the way I'm studying and she thinks it's not right. I wasn't angry. Because...I also know it's a wrong way to study without sleeping. Just that I'm too obssessed. Too scared. I wanted to do a lot better. But in the end, this paper should be easier than the first CA. But, after the professor discussed the answers after the exam, I realized, I'm just only 5 marks better than CA. Serious, I'm really sad about it. One careless mistake, No. It's not even a careless mistake. I changed my answer because I was uncertain, but in the end, if I stayed on my initial answer, I would get 1 less question wrong. :(

Sigh...It's so depressing, don't you see it? :(

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina - Stereo Love (Official Music Video)

Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina - Stereo Love (Official Music Video)

Dream Bedroooms ?


This is pretty cute...But..Hmm...Not really my dream room...



I would like this design...Hmm...but I think I'd prefer the design of the other one below.


This design has some sense of maturity in an urban life. But I don't think this suits me..


Yes, if you are thinking if I love this, YES, I LOVE THIS DESIGN most. And I think it suits me more..<3


For my future children perhaps?


For this, I only like the center part of the room. Haha. Yes, the pole meant for pole dancing attracts me a lot. So long didn't pole dance le...>.<


This is awesomely CUTE <3


It seems like it's for those rich people right? I like this too, but, hmm...seems a lil too complicated.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

bad luck day

ýÊ$TÊRdÃý wÃ$ $úÇh à bÃd lúÇK dÃý. Ãñd bÊÇÃú$Ê 0f ÎT, Mý TeMþÊR wÃ$ RÊÃllý bÃd.Ãñd wÎTh0úT Mý$Êlf RÊÃlÎZÎñG, Î þúT Mý ÃñGÊR 0ñ ThÊ 0ffÎÇÊR 0ñ ThÊ lÎñÊ. fÎR$T TÎMÊ ÊVÊR Î'M $0 þÎ$$Êd ThÃT Î ÃlM0$T $ÇRÊÃM ÃT hÎM Ãñd Mý T0ñÊ wÃ$ RÊÃllý 0bVÎ0ú$ ThÃT Î ÃM RÊÃllý þÎ$$Êd. Îf 0ñlý ý0ú Kñ0w h0w $úÇK$ ThÃT fÊÊlÎñG$ ÃRÊ...
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Thursday, October 20, 2011

OMg. Slow Progress !!!!

Oh my oh my oh my. Why is your progress damn slow sia?!!!

Must study at a faster rate and comprehend at a faster rate!! >.<

Anyway, I was at U-Town studying, at one of its computer room.
I didn't know that the computer rooms here opened for 24-hours man!! 24 HOURS!!!!

This is so cool man. I don't have to bring my dumb laptop around le...:)

Finally after so long, I finished only 1 lecture note. =(

I studied it from a scratch, uhm....2 hours later than expected. Garrr....

Must sacrifice my sleeping hours le. :(

Jia you jia you!!! :)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Movie Alone 1

All the time, I wanted to try watching movie ALONE.
Never did I manage to do that.

But today, I was all of sudden. I walked passed by this cinema. At that instant, I go to the counter and asked what movie is showing today since they don't have a TV (or whatever it is called) showing the list of movie screening today.

Initially, wanted to watch Friends with Benefits. But then, she said it was shown 4.25pm in the evening. And I was there at the time of 8.30pm. Sigh...Then I was thinking hard what to watch. Then, I searched for the movie ratings on IMDB using my phone. Hm...After comparing the rating, I  decided to go for "The Thing". Although initially I thought alien movie could be boring, but then, I was amazed that how it kept me awake throughout the whole movie ler!

Hahaha...Then I think,...I think I screamed the loudest. Muaahhaha! Omg. So paiseh sia. But don't care lar, nobody knows me there right?? :P :P :P

Hahahahaha....Screamed till the whole cinema down. Haha. Actually, I'm not so kua cheong la. Won't scream till the building down la..HAhaa...Just that I like to add metaphors to make things sound more kua cheong nia.
Anyway, I think it's really a worth to watch movie. It's great. And scientifically, I think it's very interesting. Seeing the actress, being so brave and smart. How good if I can have her brain? Haha...So, next time must be observant! Must observe every single things in order to identify if a human is a human or not! Cause alien could not imitate/replicate metals! They can replicate only cells. She was so smart and observant, and as a result, she manage to filter who is human and who is not....In a way, at least you can protect yourself too ma!!:)   SMART sia....

p/s: I realized that nowadays I find it hard to trust people. I don't know how to differentiate who is really true with me and who is not. I mean people from my course la...and some people also la...It's like after you got cheated over and over again, you'd be scared of thinking that that person who treats you good now is really a good person. This is what I thought bout now. I don't dare to trust anything that they said, and even if they are trying to be nice to me, I just somehow, find it hard to accept and trust them again. I don't know. Maybe I've lost trust in some humans.

not good when it comes to give advices to myself

Stanley messaged me about his emo stuff. Personally, i can feel he's a good guy, just not sure why the girl he likes doesnt like him. Tried to help him patch things up and console him. I guessed i only know how to give advices to people. But when it comes to myself, i couldnt follow my advices.

Like in stanley's case, he said that the girl always didnt reply his messages. And always give him excuses. And during their uni time, he always tutor her. And now they are in different uni, different state... Stanley is an affectionate person like me... And he bought lotsa books for that girl to help her in her studies. Tell me, where on earth you can find a guy like him???!! :(

Sighhh...and the girl, just ignored him like that... I asked him, if he felt as if he's being used or not...and he told me no cause he's doing it in his own will...(like if me, i also sacrificed everything just bcause of him too)

So, i advice him not to think bout the girl first and maybe she has reasons or bla bla bla...

But when problems like this comes to me, i couldnt do what i advices him. Now i had the same feeling like him. Its like i've fed up with this ignored messages. Especially when that person knew that its obvious that you like him. Of course i dont emo like stanley la, just that im not happy with it especially when its on a big day of mine... Suan le ba. I think i'd give up on him le...
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Friday, October 14, 2011

my 21st birthday

All the time, I refused to remember the dates, especially on the month of october. Because, i know nobody will remember my birthdays. Not even my ex. Thats why sometimes I'd rather that my birthday is forgotten.

Anyway, should i buy a cake for myself to celebrate my own birthday?? (:
Ok. Tommorow i'd celebrate my own birthday. =)

P/s: anyway, i'm surprised that there are people that remembers my birthday! (;
Thank you jie, thank you rui jie, and thank you zhi kai (: (:
These are the special people that made my day(:
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

why do you have to be so tough?

Lsm 2201a exam - are you kidding me?
Prof mok: for the mcq questions, you can circle more than one answers. Say if the answers are a,c,d; and you only circle a / a and c only, you wont get any mark.
So its either you get mark or no mark...
Me thinking: why it has to be like this!????? Unfair ler...it is so ambiguous!!!

Arghhh. Seriously, can please dont screw me to that extend? I am already sooooo sad :(

And things tht came out doesnt test what you memorise but more towards application of understandings n research based...

Gar...and one thing, each time when i have a feeling that certain thing will come out, and i dont manage to really understand n go through it, it gets tough...
Next time must study base on instinct d...hmmmph.
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

2nd appointment with Miss D

Im not sure how to judge people. Each time i thought that i can put my trust on them, in the end they will spread things bout me or said things behind my back. They always appear good, but...you wouldnt know till they showed their true colours. Anyway, im currently "supervise" her to see if she can really be trusted or not.

Okay. We went together to check our lsm 2101 result just now. As expected, although my result is quite okay, but.... Im not really satisfied enough. I guess I will put more effort in it too. I was in the coop just now after my counselling, i realised there's lotsa books that cn make me interested more in my biochem. I will invest the flash card( its a must for me. In any case if i cn dl it, then hahaha. Wont buy le...)

And one thing learned from my counsellor : memorise only the headlines and make your own story!! which i think its interesting. I will apply it today. (:


Tomorrow is my protein exam le...wish me luck. And after exam, im gonna treat myself a movie. Maybe. Letsee how. (':
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Sunday, October 9, 2011

If one day I were to leave this place

I was happy to meet you. All worries begone when you are there. You're like a medicine to me. But I still can't have you.

It's okay. I'm contented. Every time when the time is spent with you, I'd smile.

You asked, after 4.5 years in Singapore, I'd go to other place? Since I'm another 1.5 years in NUS and 3 years bond with Spore >.<...Initially, my plan was, maybe...Maybe I would go to other place.

But if you were to ask me to stay, I would. No matter what. Cause you're the only reason that I would stay behind. No matter all the pains I had to bear being here, no matter all the stress being in this stressful country, I would stay, just because of U.

Anyway, dear God, please take good care of him. Don't let anything happen to him. And please, please cast away the evils from him.

Friday, October 7, 2011

This is Me

Argh. I just received one my mid term paper result. As I know, the result wasn't really satisfactory. Sighh...:(

I admit perhaps, the time I've given to do the exercises is not enough.

I admit perhaps, the exercises that I did, wasn't sufficient.

I should work even harder for the 2nd test. Gosh. I SHOULD HAVE ADDED SUPER MEGA EXTRA EFFORT on the 1st term paper! :(

But what is done, is done. And I can't refund. So well, I should seek to do better the next time!

I just hope that at least the marks that I've got is at least an average. And not below average. :(

Just messaged prof to remind him to add 2 marks for me cause he forgotten to mark one of the question. Sighh..

hate people in NUS

NUS seems to cultivate more and more fake people! And please, this 2 coursemates of mine, time taken because of the project we had to do and halfway they go and view the cm 2161 tutorial ( and fuck e learning too!) which i had to view as well. Knowing that my laptop had problem in usage, they ignored me. And worst thing is, they tried to act kind and said that they couldnt hear anything on the tutorial too... Stupid. As if i dont know that you're lying!!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dogs make u laugh!


Hahaha! At least watching this made me laughed non-stop =)
Some of it reminds me of my dog. Especially the part when the dog was sleeping and something falled onto it, it freaks out!!!
SO CUTTEEEEEE!!! JUST LIKE WHISKY ^_~

Not Feeling Well :(

I'm not sure what others would think, I'm having a major exam next week (30% of final), but I'm still blogging here.

Well, I really can't stand of this---> I felt like VOMITING!

What the hell happened? Is my depression came to this extend that even my health deteriorated like this?

I'm trying so hard to forget all my worries. I'm trying so hard to FOCUS, FOCUS, and FOCUS.

But, ....What am I going to do?

I felt so screwed. Even before the exam. Dear God, please bring away my depression and anxiety. PLEASE. I pleaded you.

I really need to focus. I need to concentrate. But this feeling of going-to-vomit sucks max. :'(

I pray. Please. Bring away my fears. Please, bring me calmness and let me be able to focus. PLEASE.

I don't want this illness to go on. :(

If I Had Valid Reason, would PGP allow me to have a DOG as a pet?

Honestly, I think that dog is the most natural therapy that one can get when it comes to anxiety, stress and depression.

This morning, I dreamed that I was studying, with my doggie lying down beside me. Every single moment, the touch on her body somehow made my stress disappeared. I would occasionally patted on her backside when I'm too stressed or hug her on my lap to study with me. And at that instant, I really wished that I wouldn't wake up. Really. If only I can have her in reality now like having her in my dream, I think having no true friends at here is perfectly fine as long as I have her.

But I had to face the truth. This is SINGAPORE. This is NUS. And it is PGPR. Sighhhh....

But I was thinking, if I really had valid reason that I need a DOG as my company, as my therapy, will the PGPR allow me to bring in pet? :'(

Sighhhh....Or can I smuggle it in? Just thought if can, I really wish to have a dog as a pet here. I really wish to.  Can I have a doggie as my birthday present? :(

First Appointment

This morning was my first appointment with my "doctor". At least after talking to her, I felt a lil better. She said that I did had signs of D when I burst out crying in front of her.

She was good. Not bad. I guessed she did her part. And to help myself, I should also start doing my part by being more positive. Which is something quite tough for me as I don't really value myself as others valued themselves.

I should try gaining more confidence and to find something to make me smile again. Recently, I realized that there's nothing that can make me laugh happily again. If compared to last time, I laughed at every single thing, even at the lamest jokes my friend could made. But now, no matter how funny a joke is, I just manage to give a rather weak smile.
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Dear Puppy, You Made my Day





It is awesomely cute right? Thanks for the natural therapy cutie! :)
At least I managed to cheer myself up a lil. I finally manage to smile today because of you =)

Initiating a Step Forward

No matter how funny you might wanna laugh seeing this post, no matter how you'd think of me. Whatever it is, I don't care anymore.

When all of sudden I had the sudden withdrawal from being sociable, I realised that partly the reason is, I hate people here. SERIOUSLY! Everyone at here seems so fake that I'm already getting tired of it. That I started to hate human! I hate every human being here. No, not every, but mostly.

Sigh. And partly because of this, I started to face severe depression. In fact, I guessed it actually accumulated till I realized it last few days. All of sudden, I would burst out crying. All of sudden tears welled my eyes. I miss home. I miss my dog. I miss the old days with my good good friends. At here, there's no single human that are true. This is the fact of Singapore I guessed. Perhaps, I've never met one yet.

IT's hard to adapt. It's hard to adapt. And it's driving me crazy! To this extend!

And I just messaged Miss Deivanai to ask if I really should seek a professional help. But though, thank God I can seek a professional therapist for free. If no, I really think I won't go for all these. And I guessed this problem if left persist, I'll be ended up being in IMH (which I don't hope so)

 I was thinking, what if all of sudden I burst out crying in front of the doctor again? Gosh, this is really embarassing. =(

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

depression

I think right now im having depression. What should i do? Im really afraid. Really afraid. :(
Every single minutes i felt like crying. You know that kind feeling sucks max. I dont want these depression to go on. :(
I really hope that it would subside...
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Sunday, October 2, 2011

A Wrestle in the Train

I was with one of my new colleague, on the way back home. We are in the same train since we're in the same direction. He stayed at Jurong West. I stayed at Clementi. When we entered, there's a heated atmosphere in the train. Initially I was unsure what are the two guys fighting for. It was then later I understood. And the thing is, me and my friend was just in front of the scene. Super mega beside the people involved in the fight.

The thing is, this Indian guy and his wife and his wife, occupied the space of 4 seats; in which the Indian guy, with ONE BUTT, sits on TWO SEATS. So, this Sporean uncle was trying to be nice and tell him nicely that it was rather inconsiderate that they seat in such a way. The Indian guy was rather ignorant and make a fuss about it. So, this Sporean uncle might have taken their photos after his advice is being ignored. So, this Indian guy seemed to be irritated. And scold the Sporean uncle or something.

Then, the Sporean uncle stopped what he's doing and tried to convince the Indian guy that what he is trying to do is to tell him nicely that he must not sit like that so that other people can also sit. HONESTLY, in my opinion, that INDIAN GUY IS REALLY INCONSIDERATE! Not only he thinks as if he's the king or something, he is so rude and ignorant!

Then, all of sudden, both of them somehow took pictures of one another. Then, I guessed the Sporean uncle also took his wife's photo. That was when the REAL FIGHT started. And I totally got the shock of my life. Seriously, my heart almost jumped out and I had to run after it. I took almost half an hour to calm myself down after the fight was resolved by the MRT train officers. I was really shocked when the Indian guy all of sudden jumped off from his seat and punched on the Sporean uncle to the floor. I think everyone in the train was also shocked. I was so scared that he'd accidentally hit me or what that I almost hide my face on my new colleague's chest and after that, I quickly ran behind him and cowardly looked at what happened in front, with him as a shelter. LMAO.

I REALLY SCARED EH !!! I'VE NEVER SEE LIVE SHOW LIKE THIS LER!!! My new colleague said that he had seen that lots of time. Hhmmm...I'm a small town girl, was never exposed to these cruel societies before. =(

As Long As You're There

All my life,
I've waited for the right moment...
To let you know
I don't wanna let you go...
But now I realized,
There's just no perfect time,
To confess how i feel...
This much i know is real...

So I refused to waste one more second
Without you knowing my heart

Baby cause I don't need anything else but your love
Nothing but you means a thing to me
I'm incomplete,
When you're not there,
Holding me touching me
I swear all of the rest could just disappear
And I wouldn't even care
As long as you're there

Take these words,
Don't let them go unheard...
This is me reaching out,
I hope you can hear me now...

'Cause baby, my heart's at stake
Take it, it's yours to break
I'd rather try and lose
Than keep this love from you

So I refused to waste one more second
Without you knowing my heart

Each day and night that
I've kept this a secret
It killed me, it's time
To share what i feel inside...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Was Trying to keep myself Awake...:)

Sigh. I guessed today didn't study much neh...Sigh...I think it must because of web surfing too much. But then, when I don't understand the thing I'm studying, of course need to search on Google right? But reading those stuffs did gave me some insights. Though most of the things I read is something quite basic. But nevermind, I guessed I should treat it as a way to uhm...STRENGTHEN MY BASICS?

Hm...2 papers down. But devastating. I thought I can do much better. Yesterday's paper was super not fine! I don't know why I couldn't find the solutions though the questions seems to be easy! :(
I'm not sure if I missed any variables or anything. But sigh...IF ONLY...IF ONLY I HAVE TIME TO CHECK.
And seriously fuck myself! Should have do Question 3 first instead of doing from the freaking Question 1. =(

Arghhh...SERIOUSLY I THINK QUESTION 3 is SOLVABLE! BUT I HAVE NO TIME TO FINISH THE LAST QUESTION!!! NOT EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO READ IT      T____T

Argh. Why my papers always screw me up?!!! =(
GAARRRR! For now, I'm going to do my best to conquer LSM 2201A. I know there are quite many stuffs that I don't understand, But hey, I guessed consultation with Prof Henry not bad. Since Prof Kini would be away for about 1 month. :( :( :(

And whoa. I have our conversations recorded too! First time ever I had my conversation recorded during consultation. :) Hmmm..