I didn't turn it on. But when aunt asked about my studies in front of dad, the panic station has automatically turned on. Dad said that if my grades are not well and my scholarship is withdrawn, I might have to stop my studies. I felt like hanging myself. I really did my best. I really do. Why in everyone's eyes I'm playful and I'm not trying my best? Is this what myself portrayed to them? Yes, I like to hang out with friends. But, I never hang out so often as they thought I am. I really got study and I really got do my best. I really do. Why they don't believe me? I felt so stressed, don't they know it? I suffered silently, but does anyone knows what I'm feeling that time? Nobody seems to know, nobody seems to care.
I am also scared. Each night I'm worried about my results. I really don't wanna face it. I'm worried about my scholarship. I really hate. I really hate myself. I AM REALLY STRESSED. REALLY STRESSED. It's really suffocating! I am really afraid. I don't wanna the time to come. If only I could freeze the time and never let it moves forever. Yes, I am afraid of accepting the truth! I just ...don't wanna see...my results...I am afraid. I am really really afraid. Doomsday is coming. It's so fast approaching. I really don't wanna face the truth. I don't dare to face my results. :C
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