It does sound true right? At least it's true for me now. Something that I always wanted, but never did I really had it. Each time, those flashbacks are just what it has in TVs and dramas. But never did it happen on me. I never knew if I could find it, but perhaps I wouldn't. Blame my low self-esteem. But I really did think twice and foresees that I don't have fate with true love. So, I guessed I would just let it be. True love always happened on others, never did it happened on me. Just when I thought I could have it, but I soon realized that I had to let it go. Yes, J does gave me that kind of special xiao gong zhu treatment before. He cares for me. Those 2 years of complicated relationship with him because of our family's objections. I know that it's wrong for us to be together too. But, love is blind right? I did miss those moments of being together despite our memories of being together is rather vague as we seldom get to see each other and even go out together. We only went out once together in a world of 2 people, but only after our break up. He still like to tease me like he always do that time...But after he found his girl, I know that I had to learn to let it go and wishes him the best instead. Though my heart actually keep bleeding when I saw them together. But at least for now, I've learnt to let him go. Those hatred I had once for him slowly melted away. I've never hated him now. I just blame myself for not being able to be a good gf enough. For not being observant enough...For not...Blame all those weakness I had in me...But still, our memories now are histories. And I'm still searching for the right ones. You found yours, I knew you're happy being together with her. And I'm honestly, happy for you too. I wished you all the best. I knew you cherished her a lots and she does too. She is really a sweet girl, someone much better than I do. Both of you are really meant to be together. But we're not. But it's okay. I'm fine. Though at times I felt hurted...But don't have to worry about me. Forgive my silly-ness and selfishness. I'll be able to lead a good life although it's just a lie.
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