Yesterday was the first time I went to clubbing in a disco...Initially I was like a stick at there. Not moving at all while others are moving their head and bodies...Shaking here and there...Samuel asked me to move a bit. But I was just so still at there. LOL. Can't help laughing at myself that time...Even my boss said that we have to let go of our thoughts when we are here...I just smiled and drink the mix (it's a mix of Martell and tea? or coke and so on...)Then, most of them went into the toilet to "merlion" (a phrase to indicate vomiting)...Yonggie (my gay friend) came up to me...He said that I should let go of myself and try not to control myself...Drink till I drunk but not to the extent that I am not conscious...He then persuade me to drink...I understand his kindness, he just want me to enjoy myself when I'm in such place cause if I am controlling myself, there's no point for me being here...He gave me a glass of concentrated Martell mix and ask me to bottoms up...which I actually did...He did say before that he will take care of me, and if any of them (the guys) raped me, he will rape them back...LOL! And somehow, after I drank, I totally kinda lost control of myself...but I was still conscious. If not, I won't be able to write anything here. Then, we are dancing like crazy at there...Somehow, I find it funny that Amy kept dancing with Alvin...IT WAS SOOOOO FUNNNNYYY~~~!!! Amy was really pretty ...I think she is...We are quite close although we just knew each other for 2 days working at Expo...LOL...And also Cecilia..Another New York skin solution promoter...just knew her yesterday...It was damn fun yesterday night...I felt so high that ...uh..can't explain...But it's really a memorable night yesterday...I danced with Yonggie most often...If people doesn't know that he's a gay, they might think we're couple...And also, Samuel is also quite nice to me. Although he always says that he likes me and wants to marry me, (he's a young kid la...20 years old...) and told me that he's a "se lang", but yesterday proves that he's not. He never take advantage of me when I'm quite drunk. He made me wear my jacket properly cause that jacket that I wore is the smooth type and it drops off easily...Each time my jacket came off, he will pull it up and make sure that I covered myself. He was really caring towards me, I can feel that. But I guessed that's not love. Then, there was once I was drunk but conscious and I realised someone opened my handbag, so I wanna go and take my handbag and check. Sherry accidentally hitted my left eye. I felt really pain that I hardly can open my eyes. Yes, after that hit, I already gain full consciousness and I'm no longer drunk or high. LOL. Samuel saw me alone at the chair and asked me if I'm okay. I told him that Sherry hitted my eye. Samuel took my hand and brought me outside. This is the only time that I felt that he's like a man. If not, all the time he's acting like a kid to me. He then lead me to sit on the sofa and asked if I need an ice. I told him is okay. I kept rubbing my eye but it still doesn't really help. Samuel saw my behaviour and hold my hands when I tried to rub my eye. It's really long but my left eye still felt very pain and I'm really scared that I started to break down. Sam noticed I cried and used his hands to wipe away my tears. (weird, I thought I would fall for him le...Cause it's like those in Taiwanese or Korean dramas scenes...and I thought I would fell for a guy who did that to me but ...I never fell for him..) Then he hugged me and put my head on his shoulder. First time ever a guy did that to me but yet, I never fall for him...Uhm...I never knew why...Although I've always said that I will fall for such guys...But to say the least, yesterday night was really awesome. And I really felt contented. :)
p/s: edited. Okay. I lied. I realized the day after that I had some feelings for him. And I don't know why. And I realized Sherry was kind to me. She apologized for hitting me. And I'm really sorry for making her feeling guilty...
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