Listening to the piano version of Peter Ho's "Remember Loved", my heart started to melt....I don't know how to describe this special feeling...Perhaps it may be due to this song being used as the background music during those sad scenes...But, personally, this song gave me a special soothing feeling, but at the same time, the loneliness in the heart...Just as what's being partly portrayed by this song...The fear and so on...I loved this song a lot though it's a rather sad song...Mixed feelings when I listened to it...
Another song that also melted my heart is the piano version of Peter Ho's "Masked Face"...Gosh. I damn like it...Each time I listened to these 2, my heart melted that my mind flows with the rhythm of the music...It's so calming despite the sadness in the song...I guessed that I'm the type that knows how to guess the feelings in a song...I used to listen to songs being played instrumentally and I'd try to relate how it is best to put in what type of situation or scenes. I can feel the sadness in some songs...Although there are some songs that appeared to be "happy" type, sometimes you'd just be able to feel there's sadness in it...Just like Susan Barth's "Wonderland"...Though the song being sung doesn't sound like it's a sad song (in fact the way it's sung is like the "happy" type), you can feel the sadness in it...Okay, perhaps maybe I'm only good at relating sadness and emo stuff la...That's why some people nicknamed me as "Emo Girl"...
Sigh...If only...If only...Nevermind. People says that I forever emo. Maybe because I've never tasted happiness before. That's why I'm emo-ing almost everyday and night. That's also why I'd prefer to make me work for long hours so that I don't have time to emo...But sometimes in work there's stress...I can't expect much from life. I am learning not to trust people too easily (I guessed I always said this but never at all I manage to do this...:( ) The fear of betrayals...The fear of being not able to fit in the society...The fear of everything...I'm phobic...to almost everything...There's nothing that I'm not fear about...perhaps except dogs. Since to me, dogs are my only best friend...As in the most loyal ones...They don't tell out your secrets...They can sense your mood...They are capable to carry away your sorrowness...They know your feelings...They make you happy when you're sad...Dogs make me smile...Sometimes when I emo-ed, I really wished I had a "doctor" by my side to make me happy...But, I'm not allowed to have a pet in the hostel...T___T I want to be pampered...I want to be loved...But...nevermind, why don't I just forget bout all these ? Cause...these things would never happened on me...Call me negative. Yes, I'm not afraid that I'm negative about my life...How to be positive when I've tried to be one, but what I've got is just a disappointment after all???
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