Sunday, July 29, 2012

Obsessed with Love - Am I or am I Not

Call me an overly emotional person, I don't care - for I know I'm actually one, and I admit that.

As far as I know, no matter how hurted I am in my past, I'm still a believer in true love although most of the time I lied to myself about it.
Trust me, all girls do believe in things called true love no matter how hard they said that they never believe in it. Yeah, I know some of the girls would say I'm crapping and they never trust in true love. Sorry, but shut the f* up. Do you dare to ask yourselves honestly when you saw an elderly couple still so loving and devoted to one another, and you've never wished that things like this happened to you? To be still loved by someone so dearly even though there are creases and wrinkles on your face and so on??

And guys, please note that you should always remember your wife's birthday and your anniversary. It really upset girls when you forgotten it although you genuinely forgotten bout it. It applies to your gfs too, if you're really committed to her. I know some guys would never understand why anniversary is so important to girls but these dates are the only dates that most girls would never forget for it as from her perspective, she'll see the day as a time to remember all your "firsts" together (first date, first kiss, etc.). There are actually tonnes of reasons, so you'd need to do your homework yourselves.

As for me, I always know that I'd never want to follow my mum's footsteps. Sometimes I tend to get jealous listening to my friends how happy their parents are being together and how sweet they are and etc. I was actually pitying my mum and amazed a lil how she could pull herself up and being strong. Dad never remember her birthday neither their anniversaries. :(
And I clearly know how upset she is, when she told me dad would never remember her birthday or anniversary... no matter how neutral she made her tone sounds, I know deep inside, she has never been really happy with the marriage. Although she always said she hates dad, but I know somehow, somewhere, she still loves dad. :(

Although I've seen failed love and myself been hurted for over and over again (sounds like I've never learn my mistakes:/ ) , it had never stop believing in true love. I know I sounded like a little kid that believes in fairytales. But I am realistic enough to understand that there won't be a prince charming riding a white horse to see me or there's such thing called happy ever after. Of course, every couples- young or married - they do fight and still get back together. So, it's impossible to have perfect relationship where you live happily ever after without fights.

Perhaps you might asked, why do I still believe in true love despite all the downsides I've been through. But, I've also witnessed true love. Like my grandpa and my 2nd grandma. Yes, my 2nd grandma is my grandpa's first love. They liked each other but grandpa had to marry my grandma(yes, this is very confusing but yeah, my grandma, which is the 1st wife) due to arranged marriage. Before they get married, my grandma knew bout my grandpa and his first love. and she tried so hard to make them separate to the extend of consulting a few bomohs. (Bomohs are malay shaman well I don't really know how to define this exactly but I know they can summon spirits to heal or to cast spells) of course, because of the spells, they do separated a few years and grandpa had to marry my grandma. It was long enough but somehow fate brought them back together. They fell in love with each other again though my grandpa has never forget her. It's cute to know that sometimes my grandpa will use an excuse to bring my dad to go kia kia to paktor with my 2nd grandma. And as a reward for my dad for keeping grandpa's secret, dad was always given sweets and toys. Lol.;)

And despite the objection and so on, they somehow got married and grandpa choose to stay with my 2nd grandma instead with my grandma... and also it seemed that grandpa learned that my grandma did put a spell to make them separated. It's beautiful that how true love can break spells.:)

Although 2nd grandma had died, grandpa would still misses her so bad and there's no more the familiar delightful face he had after her death... This is the reason why I still believe in true love. You can call me silly and unrealistic if you want... I actually don't mind.

But, I know it's rare and hard to find one...:( sighhhh... I spent my lifetime searching and I'm not still sure if I found one. But I know I'm always been serious and committed when I'm in a relationship. Sometimes I'd find myself so silly for being fully devoted in love.
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