I don't know when will dad cool down...
Guessed that this is the first time that he was so mad at me...
I really wished that he knew...
How hard I tried...
I longed for his love...
His support...
In times when I'm so down...and sad...
But I was hitted hard on the face that I'm playful and not serious in my studies...
I remembered that day before I left, he gave me RM 100. I was touched. It was the first time he gave me money before I left, afraid that I don't have enough money with me...Although this amount was not much, but, I knew that it was out of love...
But now, our relationships right now was really shaky. Refused to answer my phone calls, made me afraid to call back home now or even to go back home...I really don't know if God will answer my prayers...I really wished to have my daddy's love back...I'm already tired of having nightmares each night and my pillow soaked in tears each night...I really hope dad could understand how tough studying here and I know, it was my choice to study here despite you and aunt's objection...I choose to be here, I chose to study here...And I have my reasons...I know I really felt suffered to be here because I have to climb such a huge mountain with my WEAK WEAK strengths...But, please give me some time to gain some strength and stand up back...Dad, although you've never gave me the love I've always wanted and longed for, I still love you despite all...I always says that I hated you, but I've never meant it...
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