I Don't Know how to Differentiate....

Don't you think it's funny that each time you said that you shouldn't trust people so easily, but yet, you kept trusting people's words and caused your heart to break. Have your heart ever learnt its lesson? How many times does your heart must be broken so that it'd only learn its lesson? A 100's times?? Or a 1000's times...?

I really don't know how to differentiate anymore which is true...and which is not true...I'm confused. Dear heart, can you please learn your lesson now?

Another thing is, I lost my necklace that he gave me. I lost it. I lost it. I'm so unhappy. Initially I thought of going to Esplanade to emo, but persuaded by Regina to go back home early. I really felt like going to Esplanade to look at the sea to calm down my feeling...Nolar, honestly, recently I've been having so much problems and keeping them inside this small small heart makes me felt like letting out a scream to cool myself down. Instead, I did something so embarassing. Wth. It's not the first time I've embarassed myself in front of a stranger at PGP. Today was the 2nd time. WTF.

First time, I scared myself because of the flasher thing. Cause there was once a notification was sent to us that there is a flasher in our hostel and asked us to beware. And thanks to my silliness because of my emo mood that I walked into a super dark area back to my room and gained my memory about the news of the flasher. And scaring myself with scary thoughts, when the stupid door banged all of sudden and I screamed so loud that a guy heard my scream and "came to my rescue". And instead, he laughed at me cause I screamed because of that stupid door. What a memory! And the guy was kind too la...He tried to resist his laughters and asked me if I'm alright...I just smile in embarassment. And just now, I was so emo. And I thought screaming inside the lift, no one could hears me. Stupid for thinking like that. All of sudden, the lift stopped at Level 2, and a guy appeared and trying to resist his laughter when he saw me hiding my face behind my signature fan. He asked, " You are too stressed is it?" I kept quiet all the moment till I got to my level. I wished to tell him, "No! I'm not stressed. I'm not happy! I'm angry and sad!!!"

Sigh..All these while, I guessed I lost my smile and laughters. Will I be able to gain them back? I don't know. And now the necklace that you gave me, I've lost it. Great. Fate wants me to forget you by losing it. Hard to accept the fact right?

Truth or Lie...How do you differentiate? Genuine or Fake...How do you differentiate them? Genuine or pretend...How do you differentiate them? You used to be my only trusted person, but now, I've lost you and you betrayed my trust in the end and I could find no one to really trust anymore. But it seems that I've never learnt my lesson, I trust people's words easily, but ended up ... Okay, whatever. I've said that I won't trust people easily since last few years ago, but I always ended up telling them my secrets and everything! >.<  How many people knew my secrets now? A lot lo i guessed. Whatever. Anyway, it should be pricked at least 1000 times only it will be start learning its lesson...

But of course, I also knew that people can't be trusted too easily. That's why my dark secrets are never been told. Even the closest people to me doesn't knows about it. But, dark secrets are meant to be forgotten. But of course, how to forget them when they always "remind" you of their existences in certain circumstances...Dark secrets are forever dark, and should be kept in the dark. It can't be forgotten, but in certain circumstances, they reminds you...And how I wished to forget them so much!