Why I Learnt from Glee

Finally finished 2 seasons. And finished till Ep 9 of Season 3.

I would honestly think that Glee is an educating movie...Glee taught me a lot of things...Passions, dreams, unity ...

1) Passion and dreams - If you really like something, you should go for it, without thinking of any consequences. I found my passion which I always had since young but never have the chance to shine just because of who I am.

2) Unity - It's really sweet that what that doesn't break a team is UNITY. And it's really sweet when everyone in the committee/ teams love and hates you for who you are, but still ACCEPT you for who you are. I wished I can find people like them. Well, is it reality or just what that appears in movies?

And lastly,

3) Accept and love who you are - which is something that I find it hard to. I don't know who I am and neither knowing how to love myself. To be honest, when I was 11, I had OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder). But it slightly gets better when I was 18. I never know that it was a disorder until I watched Glee. I remembered how I always sneaked up in the middle of the night, trying to "disinfect" the whole house cabinets and things in the house by stealing my brother's shampoo to clean every single thing in the house. I put some shampoos on the tissue and wet it a little, and clean the tables, the pianos, the TVs and cabinets in the middle of the night. Yeah, no one took notice of it until...one day my brother caught me and told my dad. Of course, my dad couldn't forgive me for doing all these (for wasting the money and shampoo), because what I was merely doing, making the whole house smells more like a shampoo and greasy. I know it was stupid, but I just couldn't stand of uncleanliness at that time. And, because dad keep me on the eye every now and then, I only can try to "disinfect" my hands by washing my hands each time I touched a single thing. Never know it was so bad till I watched Glee and recall back my memories and why I'm reacting like that, till now. True enough, dad caught me again for using up the shampoo or the hand washer within 2 weeks, and punished me for that. I can't remember what he do to punished me that time, maybe writing 1000 pages of sentences? That's what he used to do when I was young. But got beaten when I was older. So, I can't really remember.

Funny to recall how I even tried to "clean" my bed too. It's just that in my mind, everything is dirty and need to be cleaned again. So, each time, after mum put up my bedsheet, I wouldn't dare to sleep on it but wait till the middle of the night, where I would pour some body shampoo on the bed sheets, and washed it. Actually, dad didn't caught me for that. It was by luck that I was not discovered for doing this. I really tried to minimize these weird acts, but it was tough for me back then. (At the same time I was having OCD, I was having SAD too, just that nobody knows)

But somehow, things slightly got better. My OCD are getting better a lil, till today. Although I still have that habit, but it was a minimum. Sometimes, I felt like I'm born this way. But how to accept myself for having 2 disorders? I'm Sorry to let my best friends down and not letting them know. But it was like a dark secret to be revealed, and I was afraid that and ashamed of being who I am.

What I know is Lesson 3 is hard to learn.