Happiness and Sadness

Yesterday was my first job in UCC Dome. Initially I thought that the people there are cool cool dei and as a newcomer, I don't even dare to talk to them. Cause I'm too shy to start the move. But somehow, I really can't stand seeing them get along so well, and I really want to be in it too. So, I gained much courage to start talking to the girl, Amy. Fuh...Lucky me. She was really good and friendly. We talked a lot. And guess what? Without knowing her actual age, you'd think that she's a student or maybe a graduate. But...know what? She's actually 30! 30! OMG...I wonder how she remain looking young...So cool...And lucky that she's like me...HAha...But I really wonder if I really expect things too much from myself? It's my first day of work, but I'm not satisfied with my skills. I am supposed to be the cashier today. So I learnt how to use the machine. But this machine is more "fu zha" than those I saw in the shopping malls and etc. It got lots of button and when people came, I got so nervous and when I am nervous, I can't really find those buttons to press...zZZz...Then I asked Nelson which button to press. Nelson showed me. I guessed the customer thought that the way Nelson and I communicate is too formal, but with Amy, it's like they're couples...HAha...That's what I thought of them initially. It's funny. Then, you know what the customer said to Nelson? He said, " You two should find some days to go out together and have a lunch or dinner after work to know more about each other...You two seems like no chemistry at all.." Then I was like...just smiled...Cause I don't know how to react. But luckily Nelson said that it's my first day working here today. Lol..After that, since there's no much customers, we're quite slack la...HAHAHA! So, the four of us slack outside (got air-cond)...Then we chat and chat...HAhaaha!! Then, they asked me to follow Nelson to throw the rubbish..Just to let me know where to dump the rubbish...So, I followed him. Then he told me that usually he'll be doing this job, but it's good for me to know where in case if he's not there or busy dealing with customers...Then, I just said ok...And I got talked to him also la...But I can't remember what we talked about d...
I'm quite glad that the working environment there is quite good. People are friendly. But but but, I'm just afraid that I'd be super nervous cause this coming Saturday there'll be an event in UCC, so, there'd be lotsa customers...Hmm...:(

Initially I am so happy today...But, my happiness ended when I got back home. After I checked my email. Maybe I shouldn't check it yesterday so that at least I can be happy for a day. But, sigh...I really don't know how to deal with it. But I need that scholarship so badly. How to explain it? I don't lie to them, but I don't even have a proof...:(