How many of you that knows that I'm actually sad inside when all the while I was trying my best to give a good smile?
I smiled happily so that people would never worried about me, but deep down, I am worried...I have so many worries that I felt that I'm going to be crazy soon...All these while, the smile that I'm faking, I started to hate myself...
I don't know what I should do...I don't know what can I do...I don't know...I really don't know!!
In front of others, I played my best role, be a happy daughter, be a happy friend...But, when will I be able to stop all these faking smiles and just be myself? I want to be the old Sherlyn who is carefree and laugh like crazy...I guessed, I became like this after I came to Spore...Where is the Sherlyn that used to laugh like a crazy girl, that smiles to everyone sincerely, and not faking it? Where is the Sherlyn that used to be carefree? It's all gone, gone, and gone...
I'm really stressed...I am really stressed...I am....tired of it...Can I just end these pain? I really want my old carefree life...Why can't I just happily past the time like a normal person?
Sometimes, I really think that when that problem(M) pushed me to the end, I will do whatever in order to get it...Even if I really had to sacrifice myself...I know I had this crazy thoughts, but I really had no other choice when it pushed me to such a dead end! I know that I will do it unwillingly, but if I was given a choice, I really don't want to do that....I really hope that God will help me in it so that I don't have to sacrifice myself..Please...
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