I Need MOTIVATIONS

I'm aint gonna say what I wanna do for the next semester for I'll never ended up following what is being planned ahead. But I have thoughts in mind what I must follow next semester in order to be more successful. Strong determination and positive mind is strongly needed. For these, I need to seek and pray to God for it. I really hope that I can find two jobs to support myself and pay those debts. I should not be worrying about the scholarship anymore for I've known that it would be withdrawn, but I hope that they wouldn't ask me to repay back. Sigh. People are being so successful and yet I've not been one.

But things I really got to do beginning of my new chapter of my life is to buy motivational picture frames. Gonna get them and hang them in my room to give me the mood to motivate me despite of my failures. I'm gonna learn from my failures and find the reasons that caused me to fail and after finding out the reasons, I'm gonna seek for advices on survival on studying skills. What are the effective studying skills for a slow learner like me? I'll have to find all these answers for myself and try out new ways of studying that suits me better. At the same time, this also means that I'll have to facebook less. I'm hoping that I'll be able to achieve it. Please O Lord, help me to find my motivations and please give me strong determination and self-discipline....

More Motivational Quotes...

More on success quotes: http://www.thesuccessquotes.com/2009/secret-quotes/

This Princess Has a Split Personality?

People says that people having split personality have psychological problems, in fact, since young, I thought that people having split personality is cool. Cause they can become two different person in a day. Don't you think it's cool? I just knew that people having split personality is actually facing psychological problem when I was about 16? But still, I don't care what others think of them, I just think they're cool, not having psychological problem even if they have it so. Perhaps, I guess I'm the only one who thinks thing different from others. Sometimes it's really not that I want to be different from others, but it's my naive thinking that is really different from others. That's what makes me so different from other people. Is this what makes me special? Haha. Self-praising...Honestly, now I'm actually thinking if do I have split personality? Lol. If I really got, I think it's cool. But if I don't have, it's okay. I can learn to be the cool person now. Hiding everything to myself or talk to the anonymous people from the encounter group..Haha. I hope to make friends there. They are really friendly. But hehe, I hope this post no guy read this. Cause I had a sudden thinking that I only want a boyfriend just to "guo ri zhi"...We can go on a date together and do everything together EXCEPT xxx and touching. Maybe kissing is a No-No too. Lol. But even if I'm different from others, I still wanna be different in every single things from others. Even for my future wedding I've planned it though I know that I may or may not wed. Cause of my different thinkings again. My reason for not getting married overbeat my reasons for getting married. Haha.

SAw this motivAtionaL quoTes on dad's working table.

Victory Has Its Seed In A Person's Mind...

IF you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't, It's almost a cinch you won't;
If you think you are lost, you are lost;
for out in the world you will find;
Success begins with a person's will;
It's all in the state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins;
Is the man who thinks;
'I CAN!'

Another one:

I do the very best I know how- the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so...- Abraham Lincoln-

I Fell and I will Rise and Stand Tall again

Living in denial till now.

Though I just glanced through it, today's was the day I tasted family's support.

I told mum I'm afraid to check it, and I guessed I don't wanna check. But time is rushing, cause we're going to Ipoh to send off sis and my future-brother-in-law. Still, mum stood beside me, said that she'll be giving me support. I told her that I wanna give up and I don't felt like checking, for I'm afraid that I'll disappoint them too if they saw...Then, mum asked sis to come out and to give me support as well. To give me the courage to check my results...Jie and her boyfriend came out to give me the courage and support. I don't wanna make them wait also, so, I checked. Truthfully as I've expected, it's really disappointing. Really disappointing. But mum and sis said that it's okay, I should try my best to do it again. No point being sad for what is happened. Great. Scholarship going to be withdrawn. Have to tell Uncle Daniel for help asap. Honestly, my heart wants to cry out, but this time I don't know why I can't cry it out.I'm bleeding inside, for I've disappointed everyone...But at the same time, I'm touched because I have my family's love despite of it...But though I can hide my results from dad now, I can't hide later...Cause dad will know it soon when I have to tell Uncle Daniel...

I guessed I have to resit one paper. Since I'm not sure what's the passing grade. But still I really hope that I dont have to resit...:(  I will stand up again and do my best...I'll make sure that this time I study everyday and not waste any of my time. means less facebook-ing d. I remembered that if my results are not satisfactory, I will refrain myself from facebook by allocating myself only 2 hours of FB per week.I need to find a reason of my failures. If facebook is one of the reason of my failure, then I'll have to stay away from it. If the reason is my poor time management, it's time for me to seek for help to advise me on time management. If it was due to my poor study skills, I shall seek for advices on the studying tips. If it was due to poor exercises, then I'll do more exercises on it. I really need to improve...Sometimes, I really wanna find someone to talk about my sadness and depression, but at the same time, I just don't felt like telling anyone.You know, you just don't felt like telling anyone, and you'd just rather keep it all to yourself.

Honestly, this is what happened to me recently. I used to tell my friends about how sad I am with my results, but lately, I found that I'm just isn't me. I don't feel like telling anyone about my worries, cause I am no longer feeling that there's a point in telling them. It's like telling them just make no sense. They don't know what and how you felt. And sometimes they just don't give you the right advices that makes you feel good. Sigh, I guessed only Serena and Wei Chyi has the ability to tell something that makes me happy even when Im sad. Serena will distract me away from sad thoughts; Wei Chyi will give me wise and soothing advices that suits my mood. Others, just isn't the same. I know I'm quite demanding, but sometimes, I really want to be pampered. I want to be loved. I want someone to be able to carry away my sad thoughts. But most NUS ppl just don't quite have the ability to do so. Perhaps it's because when people are too smart, they don't have the simple thinking like us. They only think of A, CAP and nothing else. We are people who thinks thing is simple ways are really different from people who only think about A and CAP. Perhaps that's what makes us different from them. Yes, our thinkings are simple and naive, but that doesn't mean that we're stupid. We might have our certain abilities in other way...

Sorry, this post doesn't mean to say anything about NUS ppl. But I'm just saying that I'm being hard and cold nowadays. Perhaps, this is what I've wanted. To be a cold person. And I guess I'm in the process of being that. It's good. No matter how I fell, I will get back and stand tall again.

Nice Hairstyle right?

Nowadays I'm so crazy over curly hairstyles ..Oh, is it because of the trends? Despite of friends' advices to straighten my hair, I permed my hair instead. You might think that I'm daring to try to perm it cause curls doesn't suit some people...Well, I don't care what others wanna think of me as long as I think I'm cute. Lol. Self-praising again huh? Lol. It's 2am+ and dad's friend still outside "guo ye"...Lol..I think people getting married is so troublesome...zZz...I still couldn't see the reason of getting myself married. I guessed that I shouldn't get a boyfriend, cause I guessed I might disappoint him since I'm kinda doesn't really like the idea of getting married. Unless to take wedding photos...Other than that, I don't see myself accepting marriages with any other reasons. People think I'm weird. Some people says that I'm just saying only and don't mean it. Well, I don't care what others think of me. It doesn't matter. Oh oh oh...Doomsday is coming...2 days more...And it's so worrying that I kept getting nightmares of failing...I'm afraid to face it. Honestly, I am really afraid. Really afraid. And tomorrow have to get up early...Sigh...I hate to go out on this damn hot weather. As you know, I'm like a candle princess ma...I'll melt under the Sun...zZzz...And I really hate my stupid sweat glands. Since young I always wanted to go under the "knife" to remove some of my sweat glands so that I don't have to sweat like crazy. zZzz...I REALLY HATED SWEATING cause once I sweated, I'll felt itchy and scratched, and there come the rashes and scars. Wtf. I hate my stupid skin allergy...>.< 

Recalling the 5 basic types of Japanese soya sauce...There's kuikuchi-shoyu, usukuchi-shoyu, saishikomi-shoyu, tamari-shoyu and shiro-shoyu...Whoa...I can recall their names...And Kuikuchi-shoyu is the most consumed in Japan (85%)....Super interested in such stuff...Oh oh oh...And also, why Japanese soya sauce is different than the Chinese ones is because the Chinese soya-sauce is made up of ONLY soya beans...whereas Japanese soya sauce  is made up of soya beans and wheat, depend on the proportion on different type of the soya sauces...Yay...Proud of myself a lil that I can remember things I read for fun...:P:P:P

Hi I Emo Again

Been so tiring all day helping mum to clean the house and set up everything. The bride and the groom's room also have to decorate. I never knew all these stuff before. But, I guessed marriage is such a tiring thing! The only reason that I wanted to marry is only to take wedding photos and true love(but this is always somewhat hard to came by...). So, there's no way I wanted to get married, till some of my friends called me Miss No Marriage once...Lol...And on this freaking stupid hot weather due to global warming, my dad keep saying that I don't take care of my body. Wtf. The rashes came by itself when the weather is hot. He always think he's right and everyone else is wrong. No matter how I told him, he still think we're wrong! I hate him for that. And he kept scolding us for nothing. That's why I hated home when he's in the house. If only this house is just only us, me and mum and not all these freaky guys...Honestly, I really don't like my father and brothers...That's also the reason why I don't trust guys so much. Sorry that you're reading this...

On the other hand, besides worrying for doomsday, I have another thing to worry. Thanks to her for telling me at the very last minute. I'm not sure if she's genuinely doesn't mean it or not, but each time she will excuses when I told her that I need a place to stay.It's already the 4th time she left me an aeroplane!  I know she's my cousin and our parents relationship is not really good, but, still, we're still have blood that connect us together right? Still, I hope that she has her own reasons for it. I don't mean to blame her, but she told me that it's okay to stay with her last month, and she now only told me that there's no vacancy now. Why can't she told me earlier so that I can make arrangements? I'm still quite lucky that I just got only 2days to settle it. Thanks to her anyway for adding me another headache...

Argh...I really wanted to go on top of the mountain now and shout to release all my worries and anger. I really wish to do that now. But it's in the middle of the night. Doing it now people that heard me would probably says that I'm crazy...But if I really had the chance to, I would shout to the sea or run to the top of the hill and says that "I WANT ALL MY WORRIES TO DISAPPEAR NOW!!!"

Reasons why I love Japanese Diets

Not only they are healthy, Japanese diets are really attractive! I really admire the Japanese people that came up with the idea of creating bento especially those cute ones. They are really creative to create even cute bentos that not only attractive but also healthy. This makes cooking even more fun, don't you think so? And even if it were made of vegetables, but Japanese people has all the creativity to create cute and attractive bentos that gives the customers a glimpse of satisfaction without realizing that it were vegetables there! I came across this awesome website that I thought that I might just share with you all who are interested in it...Well, happy reading and exploring! :)

http://justbento.com/recipes

Learn from the Japanese: Why Japanese People Live Longer?

I've told you before that I am interested in Japanese diet ...Well, why I chose Japanese diet instead of other countries' diet? The reason is just above. Japanese people stay longer and they have the longest life span among other people in Asia as well as in America. What makes them so healthy and strong? Of course the reasons does not depend solely on the diet, but also their lifestyle. This is what I aimed to explore when I was thinking what I wanted to do after my examination. I love every single thing about nutrition. How I can benefit most from food and how to make the food that people dislike (like vegetables) to be more attractive? Here I'll be sharing with you on the article that I've read about Japanese diet and why it makes them more healthy than us and the Americans.

Fish versus Red Meat: Japanese people don’t eat nearly as much red meat. Red meat has a lot more cholesterol than fish, which causes you in your later years to have a much higher chance for heart disease, heart attack, stroke, and other fun things. [This is the reward first, pay later concept. Woohoo...I'm applying what I've read!] In Japan, fish is the primary “meat” to eat, which means not only do they keep their cholesterol lower, but they also get healthy fish oils, too. Now, there’s probably something to be said about the nasty stuff that can come with fish (i.e. mercury), but no matter what you eat you’re going to be getting something “fun.”

Less Milk, Butter, Dairy: Most Japanese people are lactose intolerant.[omg. I never knew that!] In fact, people who can drink milks after becoming an “adult” are mutants anyways. People aren’t really meant to do dairy their whole life. Although non-fat milks are pretty healthy, a lot of people drink 1% and 2% milks. The amount of fat and cholesterol in those is pretty astounding and will kill you slowly. Japanese people don’t really do dairy all that much, lactose intolerant or not, which means they avoid all the extra cholesterol.

Rice: Rice is eaten with almost everything and is high in nutrients (there are special rice strains in Japan that have been created to have more nutrients than normal rice, even). It’s also low in fat and helps fill you up. [No wonder eating sushi is so fulfilling but it also makes me crave for it every second. Oh. I love Sushi~] Now, to make this even better (for yourself), you should try to mix in some brown rice as well. A lot of people don’t like this, but it’ll help you get some more whole grains.

Lots of Soy: Tofu, bean sprouts, and so on are awesome for getting you proteins and help reduce heart disease and high blood pressure, a couple of things that kill a lot of Americans. Soy products are really healthy, and an awesome alternative to meats, milks, and other “unhealthy” things. [I learned from the Japanese that it is okay not to take any meat. So, it's perfectly fine that I'm not a fans of chicken. I don't really eat chicken anyway and not many people believe me. Well, I don't mind whether they wanna believe or not. But my main problem is I also don't really like fish. The only fish that I like is just SALMON, COD FISH and STINGRAY. Well, people says that I only know how to appreciate expensive fishes. Well, I can deny any further but to admit it too. But I really don't like fish smell...But the weird thing is, I don't mind to eat it when it is a sushi! Lol~~]

Tea: Japanese people drink a ton of tea. Americans drink a ton of coffee. While there’s something to be said in regards to “everything in moderation,” I feel like one cup of tea is going to be better for you than one cup of coffee, especially when we’re talking larger amounts. Green / Oolong Tea is full of antioxidants (good for fighting that cancer thing), and apparently helps break up oils in the digestive system, keeping those bowels happy.

Seaweed: Mmm, seaweed. It’s full of iodine and other nutrients you don’t get as much of anywhere else. So incredibly healthy. Also supposed to help fight against many kinds of cancers, too.


More Vegetables: Vegetables tend to be a big part of every meal, not an afterthought or “oh, I should add a vegetable to this steak dinner” kind of thing. Everyone knows that vegetables are healthy and good for you. What else is there to say?

Smaller Plates: Here’s a trick. If you’re looking to lose weight, get rid of your big plates. Small plates cause people to eat smaller portions, which causes people to eat less. So many studies have been done on plate size and how much one eats, and there’s a surprising correlation between the two. Japanese tend to serve food on smaller plates which means they don’t overeat and get fat, which, of course, reduces chance of heart attack, heart disease, stroke, and other ailments.

Calories: According to Greg O’Neill, director of the US National Academy on an Ageing Society, Japanese people eat a third of the calories Americans eat. Now, Japanese people do tend to be smaller, so this kind of makes sense, but on the other hand Americans tend to eat too many calories. Next time you do fast food, look at the calorie counts. It can get pretty ridiculous, sometimes.

Walking Vs. Sitting

Not only do Japanese people eat well, but they stand and walk way more than the average American. In America, most people tend to drive everywhere. Then, after they drive, they sit for long periods.

The Commute: A large portion of Japanese people walk, bike, and take the train to work (or wherever they need to go). Cars are kind of a luxury, and it’s almost easier to take a train anyways (train system is awesome). This means Japanese people are standing up for longer periods of the day, whether that means they’re walking / biking to the train station, or standing up in the train because there isn’t room to sit down. There have been plenty of studies done showing the correlation between how long you sit down per day and how likely you are to die early. Basically, if you stand up more every day, you’ll probably end up living longer. In Japan, standing and walking is just a necessity, while in American you have to go out of your way to do it. If you want to live longer, try and stand up for a few hours every day. [Maybe the crazy Canon CEO isn’t just being evil, he’s helping his employees live longer!]

Squatting While You Poop: Apparently, it’s also healthier to squat when you poop. [Haha. I prefer squatting in the public toilet.] Although this is becoming less and less the case, many Japanese toilets require you to squat, which has its own health benefits (even if it takes some practice). Apparently (I won’t get into too much detail here), squatting helps with your digestive system and actually help you to avoid hemorrhoids. While hemorrhoids are pretty common in Western countries, they’re nearly nonexistent in Asian, squatting countries. Back in 1978 they even got Jimmy Carter a squat toilet because his hemorrhoids were so bad. I don’t want to talk too much about poop here, so if you want to read more you can.

Encounter Group

Was watching one of E.U. episode yesterday and it made me remembered something that I once read about before,i.e. the Encounter Group. Well, if you don't know what is an encounter group, then I'll just briefly tell you here. Early types of the encounter group involved people sitting comfortably in a circle, and people might sit in chairs or on comfortable cushions sharing thoughts and feelings with each other. However, there are also different type of encounter group as well. There is an online version where you can stay totally anonymous and talk to people about your feelings and problem. Anything you wanna say, be it a confession or problems that you're facing that you can't even tell your good friends, but you wanna tell out because you felt suffered hiding it just to yourself. Well, I was wishing to have someone to listen to my problems and I was quite lucky that I met Encounter Group. I just shared my stories yesterday and a girl called Lifeless Star replied me. Well, she seems to be able to understand my situation. And, I felt pity for her after reading her stories. Her stories were even tragic because of her parents. But I'm happy that she at last had the taste of freedom and I'm wishing that she'd find happiness one day soon. :)

On the other hand...I'm quite happy that I've finally finished Chapter 1. Well, of course, nothing to be proud of since it's just 28 pages and yet it took me almost 3 weeks to finish it. Well, don't get me wrong. I'm just trying to read it on my own pace. I had many stuff to do back at home for brother's marriage. It sounded like I'm getting married right? Wth. Oh, I'm so so so in love with Nutrition. I guessed Nutrition suits me a lot. Honestly, I really do not regret taking Food Science and Technology. Although I may did really badly for my Sem 2, I realized that I did learn something from my course, especially Heat Transfer and Fluid Flow. I realized that I do not hate Prof Jaenicke anymore. Previously, I hated him badly because he can't really teach. But after the consultation, the pressure that he gave me when he made me to think in front of that proud Chem major couple, although he did embarrassed me a lil, I realized that I never hated him for that. In fact, I actually found myself thanking him for giving me a lot of hidden knowledge that I would never know if I've never consult him. He's a smart prof, but he might not really be good at teaching. But when he forced you to think, it's when you'll start to learn. But it's too late for me to know it. And I'm really afraid to face my results. It's releasing soon. Very soon. And I'm already dread worried. Really really really worried.

And oh yeah, the reasons that I'm studying Food Science and Technology is because I really wanted to create a product that is environmental-friendly and healthy to people. I really wanted to create a healthy society. But, I really don't understand why people don't mind spending money on the medical fee (operation, medicine, etc...) rather than seeking consultation from a nutritionist to gain the most from food? I thought about it before that if only I can blend the art of cooking with nutrition, it would be good...But it doesn't seems that there is such course anywhere in this world....

Temporary Remembrance

My voice has never been loud enough
No one ever hears me 
I try to speak up and my voice gets drowned
Or I'm just ignored

No one ever heard my screams 
No one ever heard my cries 
No one ever heard my yells 

I was shut out of society 
I was locked up and trapped in the place I had to call home

I wanted to disapper
I've been lost for a long time 

But now I want to be found 

I'm different 
I'm not like anyone 
I'm second glanced at 
I'm pointed at
I'm whispered about 
I cannot see but I can feel it and hear it 

People only know me for a little while 
Then they leave 
But I am still here 

I maybe fresh in someone's mind 
But soon that memory will be long gone 

I do not want to be forgotten

But I am only a temporary remembrance

I'm tired leading this lifestyle. I am really tired. I want to talk someone. But never could I find the right person to talk with. I know it's the most stupid decision I've ever made, but I really want to pull out now. But...I don't know how. I really hate it. I am tired. It's so tough. It's hard. It's really hard.

And the currency exchange rate is increasing so drastically. How? What should I do? I really need to go for it? But, I'm afraid. Afraid of ... I couldn't tell anyone, I can't let anyone know...But it was just my Plan B, if Plan A doesn't work well. But then, I really have to work like crazy that time...I hope I can find 2 jobs that pays good pay...

And doomsday is approaching ... I'm left with only 5 days..5 DAYS! :C  And I'm worried like hell...:C    Sigh... Is there anyone I can talk to about my worries? My problems...It seems that there's no right person to talk to...

The Panic Station has been Activated

I didn't turn it on. But when aunt asked about my studies in front of dad, the panic station has automatically turned on. Dad said that if my grades are not well and my scholarship is withdrawn, I might have to stop my studies. I felt like hanging myself. I really did my best. I really do. Why in everyone's eyes I'm playful and I'm not trying my best? Is this what myself portrayed to them? Yes, I like to hang out with friends. But, I never hang out so often as they thought I am. I really got study and I really got do my best. I really do. Why they don't believe me? I felt so stressed, don't they know it? I suffered silently, but does anyone knows what I'm feeling that time? Nobody seems to know, nobody seems to care.


I am also scared. Each night I'm worried about my results. I really don't wanna face it. I'm worried about my scholarship. I really hate. I really hate myself. I AM REALLY STRESSED. REALLY STRESSED. It's really suffocating! I am really afraid. I don't wanna the time to come. If only I could freeze the time and never let it moves forever. Yes, I am afraid of accepting the truth! I just ...don't wanna see...my results...I am afraid. I am really really afraid. Doomsday is coming. It's so fast approaching. I really don't wanna face the truth. I don't dare to face my results. :C

I hated Some Guys...but have to bear with it...

No choice...I really really hate bad tempered guys...That day, I totally saw his TRUE colours...In fact, maybe that whole bunch too...Freaky,stupid guys. Hate to the max. But then, I still have to act nothing when I sees them . I don't know why guys have to be ego and don't admit their wrongs? And blame everything on the girls...WTF...*Screaming " I HATE EGO AND BAD TEMPERED GUYS THAT NEVER ADMIT THEIR WRONGS!!!" *

*Trying to cool down*

Uh...I don't know when will I be able to meet the right guy? Most guys in NUS sucks...Those I know la...It's either they're not my type of coffee...Or either I hated silently their ego and temper.

Well, on the other hand, I realized I'm attracted to guy's eyebrow...I guessed I like guys with thick eyebrows...Haha..It's cute I think...Just like him. Oh, shook that thoughts away. I can't write it here. But I can't tell anyone. Cause my heart has made the biggest mistake. Need to brainwash my heart d...Sigh...But I'm also attracted to guys that acted cool a lil...But crazy when he's in love with me...Just like him...Argh...SHERLYN!!!!! You must not think of it!! Quickly wash away, wash away...!!! >.<

Hairstyles that I liked...

These coming photos are from: http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-253099/who-has-the-best-hair-hair-style?pg=14

[Hehe...This is SS501...My favourite Kim Hyun Joong is there :P ]

Here's a link for make up and hairstyles: :http://japan-chic.com/tag/eyeshadow  AND
http://worldhairstyles.com/top-ayumi-hamasaki-hairstyles/?fbc_channel=1&type=likeboxLiked AND http://www.hair.becomegorgeous.com/newest_trends/fab_curly_medium_hairstyles_for_summer-4547.html

I Permed my Hair (^_~)

Oh oh oh...I finally permed my hair~~ This is my first time that my hair "loses its virginity" to the hair stuff...I've never straighten my hair before, nor I permed...And I'm so excited...I like my new look! ^_^  Initially I thought of announcing to the world that I permed my hair, but after a 2nd thought, I think it's better I kept it silent. No point telling people, cause I felt like I wanna give my friends a surprise! Lol. I'll upload some pictures of my after-permed hairdo :)

Oh yeah, I realized my style of fashion in clothes has changed...Or am I being more yim-chim now? Hahaha...Cause I went to pasar with mum this morning, well, the clothes all are not just my type, although it's quite nice...The old Sherlyn would go for that type of clothes, but the new me started being so fussy and think a lot before buying...So, I guessed there are some changes in me...Hmmm...



And...I really want to sing K...Sigh...I've been dreaming to sing and sing...I guessed singing K is like a way to forget all my problems...Of course, it depends on who I go with...As long as I'm not shy in front of that person and I can be just myself, the crazy me, going for K really drown all my sad thoughts and problems away...!!! :)

Okay, I'm gonna stop now...Tomorrow I'll be going to Pahang for brother's dinner...Hmm...Shit...Come back Taiping made me grown is size...:(   I hope that I'll be able to jian all that fei when I'm back to Spore...And O Lord, I'm really scared with my results...In fact, I've been worrying all day long...I don't dare to see them...:(

(This is the make-up and hair-do that I did in spore, Sorry the image is quite blur, cause I'm paise that people spotted me "zhi pai" )

The rest are the pictures after I permed my hair :)

魚躍在花見主題曲 Theme Song Of The Rippling Blossom

I liked this HK drama a lot...It's really meaningful...:) Liked Kei Ying..~~Glad that they are together in the end~:)

Read this in Cantonese tone and it's beautiful

如果这个世界上的社会是坏的,我宁愿我从来没有来到这个世界。


现在的社会根本就是不知道什么叫真正的爱情...




如果一个人当他长大会变成坏人，我宁愿永远不长大..

Wonderland

Every morning I get up, I'm making my bed 
Should be making my head, I go to work and now I'm feeling 
Half past dead 
Or so I've said…
And I'll just go along thinking, Everything is gonna be just fine 
But sometimes I'm afraid, So tell me one more time I'll be fine 
If I give it time.


 Masquerading as someone 
I'd like to be, But it just isn't me 
Painting pictures, Reading smart magazines 
Hey I'm turning green, So I'll just go along thinking 
Everything is gonna be just fine 
But sometimes I'm afraid 
So tell me one more time I'll be fine 
If I give it time

And walking through Wonderland, Ain't all it's supposed to be 
Bio's and 8 X 10's are all it'll ever be 
And everybody just hangs on,To the same old dream
And in the afternoon 
Well, I may contemplate 
Even though I am late, I guess it's time for me 
To just communicate, But it's what I hate 
So I'll just go along thinking 
Everything is gonna be just fine, 
But sometimes I'm afraid 
So tell me one more time I'll be fine 
If I give it time

And walking through Wonderland, Ain't all it's supposed to be 
Shadows and pictures, Of those people on the silver screen 
And everybody still hangs on, To that same old dream
Come sit beside me now, 'Cause I've been thinking a lot 
It's all that I've got 
You see yesterday, well, 
Really wasn't that hot, But sometimes it's not
And I'll just go along thinking, Everything is gonna be just fine 
But sometimes I'm afraid 
So tell me one more time I'll be fine 
If I give it time.....
If I give it time….. 
Time.....

You Haven't Seen the Last Me

How many of you that knows that I'm actually sad inside when all the while I was trying my best to give a good smile?

I smiled happily so that people would never worried about me, but deep down, I am worried...I have so many worries that I felt that I'm going to be crazy soon...All these while, the smile that I'm faking, I started to hate myself...

I don't know what I should do...I don't know what can I do...I don't know...I really don't know!!

In front of others, I played my best role, be a happy daughter, be a happy friend...But, when will I be able to stop all these faking smiles and just be myself? I want to be the old Sherlyn who is carefree and laugh like crazy...I guessed, I became like this after I came to Spore...Where is the Sherlyn that used to laugh like a crazy girl, that smiles to everyone sincerely, and not faking it? Where is the Sherlyn that used to be carefree? It's all gone, gone, and gone...

I'm really stressed...I am really stressed...I am....tired of it...Can I just end these pain? I really want my old carefree life...Why can't I just happily past the time like a normal person?

Sometimes, I really think that when that problem(M) pushed me to the end, I will do whatever in order to get it...Even if I really had to sacrifice myself...I know I had this crazy thoughts, but I really had no other choice when it pushed me to such a dead end! I know that I will do it unwillingly, but if I was given a choice, I really don't want to do that....I really hope that God will help me in it so that I don't have to sacrifice myself..Please...

I Didn't Know what I actually wanted

Ughhh...I don't know what...But...people having good relationship...Seeing people so "han fook"...I also hoped that I can felt the same way too...But, each time, my relationship is like a disaster...Sigh...With J, it's still a bliss for me although he left me for good. We can never be together, cause... Sigh, my dear friends, I know it's silly...But, since he found a good girlfriend, I also felt happy for him geh...:)

Sometimes, I really wished to find a life partner to share all my feelings and pain and happiness...But, something in me will get in the way each time when a guy did actually tell his feelings to me. I wanted a relationship, but the other voice in me said that all guys are bad and the other thing is also because I'm afraid of pain and commitment..Afraid of being hurt again...Afraid of being committed to a guy...

It's like when I'm with a guy, then I'll have to commit time and space with him...Another thing is, I have a clear conscience that I'm right now living on my own, in a foreign country. There's nobody staying with me(parents) and if anything happened, I'll have to "zi kei seng dam (cantonese)"...That's also the reason why in this one-year duration, I have never allowed any guys to enter my room. I remembered that John followed me all the way to my cluster to take his book and when he was just in front of my door, I asked him to stand outside. Lol. Am I being mean? Sorry, just that I'm not "xi guan" to allow any guy to enter my room (unless to help me take SUPER heavy stuff and that only happened once at the end of semester since we have to pindah here and there).


zZzz...I want a guy in my life, but on the other hand, I am afraid of being hurted and afraid of commitment...I am so confused..I didn't know what I want actually...

If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that..No man is worth the aggravation...That's ancient history, been there, done that!


No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no...It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love...


I thought my heart had learned its lesson...It feels so good when you start out...My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"...Unless you're dying to cry your heart out...Oh...


No chance, now way...I won't say it, no, no...This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love...


You're way off base, I won't say it...Get off my case, I won't say it...


Oh, at least out loud, I won't say I'm in love ...

I Won't Say I'm In Love (Sing-Along)

I wont say I'm in love...So what if I'm jealous?

First time being a Transformed Model...

It's the first time ever I'm being a model..! Oh gosh. In fact, initially no one actually care about me. They never treat me SOOO good before I changed to that dress....Well, tonight , no, it was yesterday night, 7/5/2011...It's the most memorable night ever...Why? I'll tell you every single details from head to toe....Haaha! Before I start the "story of mine",  there's a LIFE SCIENCE DINNER AND DANCE in Roxy Hotel at 6.30pm...It's really grand, and in universities, in an event like this, everyone will be wearing their best dresses and heels ...In fact, I had a few friends who spent $300 + for the dress and heels...Wow...As for mine, my dress costed me $39.90, bought from Bugis Street...And my heels costed me $59.90, due to last minute buy because of unexpected misfortune...Sigh, I kinda felt like I'm like a Cinderella...but then, no, I kinda regret buying it, because it's way to high for me, and I can't even walk properly with it, and I have to walk SUPER SLOW~!...Okay,let's start this story of mine. Initially, I  thought that I would be late for my meeting with the make up academy cause my meeting is from 4pm-5pm..! And I only went out at 3.35pm! Luckily, I met Ann and her friends on the way to board the bus...but luckily, we board a taxi instead!~ Save the time though not money! But anyway, still it's okay...:) cause it's about $2 per person! Still quite cheap!:)

Then, we reached the Art Academy...Initially, we first thought, "Har...? This kinda place eh?? " At first, we have no confidence in the shop.. But it's free, so we go anyway! Then, Ann's friend said that I need a hairdo cause my hair looks not okay! So, I told the lady that I wanted a hairdo...Luckily they said ok... Then, when it's my turn, I've got a very pretty make-up artist...In fact, she's a part time there, and she's learning I guessed...Cause she doesn't really know how to trim my eyebrow...Then, the "si fu= lao pan" then teach her by showing how to trim one side of my eyebrow for her...At first, I also got a feeling that I will be "done" cause I thought that she's not good at it, then I'll never look like others, that awesome or something...
But hey, inside me, there's a voice saying, "Trust her ability. Let her try on me."...So, I decided to let her try on me with an open heart...Oh yeah, Btw, she's a msian too!! From Pahang...She's MEGA friendly and pretty! I like her a lot actually, and I think she's nice! Heehhee...and the funniest thing is,,....HER NAME IS SHER LEEN!! Lol...We had almost the same name! Then, after my make up, she told me that I better change to my dress first cause scared that my hair will be ruined when I changed! So, I told her okay. So, I changed to my dress and when I came out...Everyone looked at me! I got shocked...Then, the lao pan saw my transform and asked me to be the model...Inside me, I was smiling happily...Cause initially no one even took notice of me...But, after I changed to my dress, all eyes are on me! Then, all of them took photos of me...Asking me to pose and so on...I'm a lil shy initially...Haha! CAUSE I'M NOT USED TO THINGS LIKE THAT! You know, it was so SUDDEN!!! Hmm...After that, I kept posing with the camera..Oh yeah, I never pose so extreme la...Just smile and certain poses like putting your hand on the waist, head tilted up a lil...Hahah....I'm not good at flirting in the camera! Then, the workers there kept praising me how pretty and cute I am..and the person who did for my hair (it's not Sherleen), said that I looked like a bride..-.-'' Got so kua cheong ma??? ...*shy* Hehehe! It's the first time that I felt so beautiful and satisfied with a total transform! Cause I remembered that during my graduation night, I went for make up service, but I still don't see any total transform in me...But yesterday, it was really really a total transform for me! And I'm really happy! I never thought that I could look pretty as well (but yea, only when I'm makeup ? Hmmm...:(   )

Okay, then go to the Dinner at Roxy Hotel, I met this very cute guy, called Nicholas Lee. HE IS A SPOREAN!!! But....Hmmm....I don't know, I guessed that he won't be interested in a girl like me... cause I'm not sexy enough for him? I felt that he likes sexy girls...Oh well, though he's really a fun guy to be with, but nevermind, I can find another better guy than him, I guessed...?? just that, he's mega cute!:(  And he brought us to had a drink and drove us back...Sigh...I'm affectionate towards him at the moment. But I guessed I'll get over it:)

Taylor Swift - Jump Then Fall with Lyrics

Nice song:)

What An Interesting Thing

You know what? I like NUS for some reasons...

First, they have almost all the books and journals you want...They are abundant! Oh gosh...And it makes me wanna camp over the library these semester breaks...
Hahahaa!

Second thing is they have Open Lectures for certain modules...Initially I was watching GE2218: Leisure, Recreational and Tourism, but I got bored over it after a while. Looking at the module name seems interesting huh? Oh well, but the readings are CRAZY! 3.2 readings per week! And to those who didn't know, in NUS, one reading can take up to 60 pages or more! And the worst thing is, the reading materials are SUPER HARD to understand! With all those bombastic words, and Latin words...

That's why I never want to take that module d after re-thinking. And actually, although I've just finished my exam today (well, I'm not sure, but I think I performed better this time than my previous 2 CM 1161 CA...But sigh, my fault for not knowing that I just have to do only 4 questions instead of 5...Wasted my time..Sigh) Oh yeah, although I just finished my exams this morning, I was thinking of taking 3 days off to do something that I wanna do...my research on food products...I was reading some FST journal this evening...Well, I manage to photocopied it..Muahaha! And borrowed some books...Oh oh oh...

Just right before I was posting this, I was watching NUS Open Lecture on this module: GEK 1544 Mathematics of Games...Sounds cool right? Oh well, I think it's PRETTY COOL...I've watched the lecture almost halfway, hoping that I would like it...But then, not sure if I wanna take that module or not...Why? Cause it's a level 1000 module....Sigh...And in NUS, you're allowed to take only 15 of Level 1000 modules..And altogether from Sem 1 to Sem 2, I took about 8 modules d...:(  Hence, I'm left with only 7 Level 1000 modules...And I've lotsa Level 1000 modules in mind...Sigh...:(

Anyway, I found that GEK 1544 is interesting,,,Probably due to Miss Chen Pei Yi's teachings...I guessed she's the first NUS lecturer that made me so interested in this type of probability problems...Though I'm not good at probabilities, but I've never regret taking GEM 2900, cause I learnt a lot from it! And oh yeah, I wanted to write about what I saw in the Open Lecture just now, and I kept forgetting about it..LOL...

Yup...I think it's pretty cool to write "Happy 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13 Birthday!" ...Hahaha...If you're familiar about it, you'd know this sequence is created by who...And also, you'd know what's the age too!! Don't you think maths is COOL and INTERESTING??? :):):)

Kutless - What Faith Can Do with lyrics.wmv

In times when I fell down, In times when I thought no one loves me, I realized...I had God's love...

Lord heard my prayers...He actually knew what I wanted...Despite...my selfishness, my unfaithfulness...I'm sorry, Lord...I am really sorry that I've being away from you for such a long time...For almost losing my trust...I am really really sorry...

I regretted for my unfaithfulness...I regretted for my wrong doings...I regretted for being so selfish and self-centered...I am sorry :(

And when I needed love, you sent someone to love me in times when I just needed a true friend...O Dear Lord, I really don't know to thank you Lord...for giving me Mercy...Thanks a lot, Dear God of Mercy, my saviour, O Jesus Christ...Thanks for what you've done for me...And I'm really sorry for my wrong doings..:(

Good Feeling...

I just finished my readings for Heat Transfer...Shall I give myself an applause? Oh no...I guessed not...Cause I still have lots of lecture notes to study more!! I haven't touch my Fluid Dynamics and Materials Balance yet!! :(

In fact, though I'm not an ENGINEERING student, but this is AN ENGINEERING MODULE! Oh gosh...Since when I chose to become an engineer? A girl without a PHYSICS background, and the worst thing is, this girl is SUPER WEAK in PHYSICS...Blame that Mr Suraimi for never teach us physics...While most of my classmates have the chance to go for tuition, this little girl has to study PHYSICS ON HER OWN...=(

Sigh...I wonder how would I be if I'm good at physics? Hahaha...Stop dreaming! Anyway, after finished the Heat Transfer (part of the module that KILLED me TWICE), I suddenly had a good feeling for heat transfer...I guessed right now, I had a CLEARER picture for it. And somehow, I felt that Heat Transfer is really INTERESTING! Oh, is this word just came out from my mouth???

Oh well, I do hope that this CM 1161 module won't kill me anymore...Please. PLease let me Ace in you and let me be your friend, okaay? Don't kill me anymore...I really BEG YOU....:(   I REALLY LIKE YOU...So, I really hope that you won't make me hate you...:(

And I would like to share this: It's interesting to learn things you know! I was reading this while studying for my Heat Transfer ...http://www.cookingforengineers.com/article/224/Heat-Transfer-and-Cooking

Taking Time To Blog

Ahhh...I felt VERY STRESSED!!!! :(:(

Sigh..Please fill my emptiness...
Trang is leaving soon...In fact, if you don't know who is Trang, let me describe about her!
Trang is a Vietnamese, an exchange student from New Zealand...In fact, I guessed she's pretty smart at her age...Sigh...I don't know why all these people from other countries are younger than us by a year, but already in Year 2! zZZZzzzzz....:(:(:(  

It made me felt sO SO old...LMAO! :)   Sighh...She cooked for me these few days when I'm so busy with my studies that I don't have time to cook...And just yesterday, she offered to cook noodles for me..Haha! I'm glad to have know her...BUT...She's leaving very soon...In fact, she just left this morning to Bangkok and will only come back on the 6th night...:(  And on the 7th noon, she will leave for Vietnam and go back to New Zealand...Sob...I felt so EMPTY without her now...No one to sing songs crazily with me in the kitchen anymore..No one to go for grocery shopping anymore...No one to cook together anymore...SOB...I felt so SO so EMPTY now...I aM SAD!:(