Uhm...Wanted to get this but...

Wow! Was looking at those deals webbie and came across this! Can I get myself this? But it's too ex! =(

Oh Well, I know I'm kinda desperate to have my boobs to be bigger. But...argh...okay, whatever! Let's see that when I've got the money ba...Tsk tsk...

Actually, I wanted to buy myself some of these stuffs to improve myself to look better. Okay, not to caught any guy's attention, (since I have no eyes on anyone YET), but I just wanted some lil changes in me, to make me feel good about myself to make me feel more confident...

I guessed I should learn things from Madonna. Yeah, you're right! M-A-D-O-N-N-A.

Well, here are the list of things I wanted to do to upgrade myself:

1) Vocal training !!!
2) Piano lesson =D
3) Eyelash extension!
4) Spas
5) Doctor therapy

Okay. All these stuffs are super costly. If can, I think I'll seek for a therapist in the school. I have low self-esteem and I know that very well. Therefore, if can, I'll try my best to improve myself from there first. To change my mindset and try to be more positive. Like what people say, if you can "suck" these positive energies around you, you'll be positive! Okay, that was a direct translation la. Anyway, you understand what I'm trying to tell here right? =)

I know I might not know when I'll die or anything. And we live only once, so, I wanted to chase after my dreams. Perhaps, I might not be sure what I exactly wanted to be. But I know, each time I watched Hong Kong dramas, especially Forensic Heroes, I'm deeply inspired by them to do my studies better! They are much pretty cool after all. And who doesn't wants to be like them? To be a professional people who seems to knows it all...?

Next semester's schedule would be super tight. Lab reports going on and on and lab sessions which are killing my times on and off. Turn me down, and I'll turn them out. Anyway, though I'm really afraid of doom's day and worried about my next semester, I know that I must be able to go through all this. To be honest, D-Day is approaching and I can't get my mind not thinking about it. My results are like my life or death to me, because it's important to me! Well, results are not important to me after all, actually. But there are lots of pressure from dad and families on me, and the scholarship, how can I get myself to sleep at night when it's like my life or death? I've been getting not much sleep, and all of the time I was dead worrying when times are approaching. I've tried to be positive, but I just can't do it. I'm worried that there are times I felt myself feeling suffocated in the middle of the night. How I wished that I can lead a carefree life and not worrying about grades, but instead, of what I've gained?

Okay, I think I really need a therapist before I was sent to IMH.