Broke into tears

Today we had a lab experiment today. 10am, the TAs asked if anyone is here. Still got others not yet reached. So, I thought should be quite okay. 10.15 am, everyone reached, but my lab partner still haven't reach yet...Messaged her but she doesn't even reply.

So, the conclusion is, today I did the experiment ALL BY MYSELF!

I was lucky cause today's experiment is fast. I finished it myself in about 1.5 hours time. The lab supposed to finish in 2 hours time before the next group comes. Whenever they asked me, "Pam not here yet ar?" I REALLY FELT LIKE BURSTING INTO TEARS! In fact, tears already filled my eyes when my friends asked. Not even a "jiao dai"! 11 am, she also haven't reply. Till my friend helped me to call her (cause I don't felt like talking to her after making me accumulated so much anger and I think it's better not to talk to her also, or else, the volcano would erupted all of sudden) and her reply was: "Oh gosh, I just woke up".

WHAT THE HELL?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I tried to control my anger although deep inside it's boiling and pressure is filling up my body and mind. Seriously, I really don't know how to bring the issues with her, I'm afraid that if I bring up the issue to her, I'll be sharp in my words and hurt people's feeling or I'd scold her unintentionally. I don't want to scold people because it's just not my style. People asked me to talk to her but how? It's not easy. Especially I'm not the type who can control my feelings well. I might burst out any minutes when the pressure is on the highest level. If you know what I mean.

I am super angry. What if today's lab is the 4hours stretch? I know, maybe she want self study at home (cause she always skip classes and so on, freaking liar, I don't trust her whenever she says that she skipped class because she got something on with her friends)..IF YOU WANT STUDY, PLEASE DON'T SKIP LAB! LAB IS NOT UNIMPORTANT!!!! IT STILL HAVE A HIGH WEIGHTAGE PLEASE~!!! I KNOW YOU'RE EFFICIENT, SMART and SO ON, but PLEASE! DON'T DRAG ME TO SPOIL MY LAB RESULTS WITH YOU!!!

Yesterday's lab also she almost screwed up. I don't know if she reads the manual before lab. Where got people grind the same fresh brocolli for 5 different samples? We did 5 different treatments for 5 different brocollis, and she go and grind the fresh brocollis instead of the treated brocollis. I didn't know she did the wrong stuff, cause yesterday's lab too much things to be done within 3 hours and we splitted work. My part is the most time-consuming cause have to time every 30 mins for the incubation thingy. And I have no time to look after what she's doing. Then, I finished half of my part and while waiting for incubation, I decided to help her abit. I was super shocked that she grinded the fresh brocollis instead of the treated ones. Already left only 50 mins, and we're running out of time, and yet she did something super irrelevant. And come on, sometimes we should also make sense of what we're doing right? For what we do 5 fresh brocollis which is supposed to be the control???? And what to do with the treated ones then??? Sighhhhh....

Each lab with her I'm super stressed. Really really stressed. :'((

p/s: sorry, I put too much anger in jotting out my feelings. I know I sounded like bitching bout someone, but sometimes, I really can't take it. If you felt what I felt before, you'll know how angry you'll be. If not, please don't judge me! Cause you'll never know what I felt.