The Day You Went Away

Initially, I said that I don't wanna come for the gathering because, I was too afraid to meet you again.
I said that I wanted to forget you. I wanted to give up. But ...somehow, despite the scars and hurt you gave me, I still don't know why am I sacrificing my time just for you. Perhaps you might not know that I value my time a lot, and I don't really go out with friends or people at here. But, because when I knew that I'll be meeting you, I'll  sacrifice my time just for you. Although I know it's pointless for me to do that, although I won't get anything in return, but being hurted.

Initially, I rejected the invitation mainly because I was trying so hard to forget you and I'm afraid to see you again. And I know that my absence isn't something important to you, and you probably won't be bother to ask. However, S asked me to come since it'd be the last time to meet you. And insisted of me coming.

True enough, I felt awkward, I don't even dare to talk to you, cause each time when I try talking to you, you'll turn me off. So, I was trying to keep myself silent all the time. I don't even dare to look at you. Funny enough, each time when they're in a conversation, I always try not to look at you and look at the person beside you instead.

But after the separation, I find myself still somehow, missing you. I know that you might have other girl in mind. Well, I don't mind. Cause I know that I wouldn't be able to start any relationship with anyone. It's quite a sad thing right for not being in a relationship? Sighhh...Whatever, fate wants me to be single. Then, I was browsing through my old phone to delete old messages. Initially, when I was sad with the way you treated me, I often felt like deleting our old conversations together, but in the end, I never delete any, cause I want to keep it. (Instead, I deleted my conversations with JK)

I'll be sad, but, you're a free bird, and I shall get on with my life too. So, whatever it is, I'm just hoping that God will be always by your side and cast away evils from you and hope that you're always safe. I hope that I'll be okay the moment I wake up the next day. Hais.