mistakes

Sometimes when I think back, do I just made a mistake? Why everytime in a relationship, I couldn't feel any an quan gan?? Why even he can't provide me this feeling of safetiness?? Or is it I'm the one being sensitive?? Everytime I thought back bout his ex and the girl he once liked, though he never mentioned it lately after i've told him what i felt when he talked bout them, I kept thinking of ending the relationship...I just felt he love me just not enough....But I have to admit that most times he treated me real good....But I just don't understand why the feeling inside me just felt not right...Anxiety...Depression...When he talked about Chye Poh(the girl he liked b4), I felt so down...She's very pretty...And many guys are crazy over her...When he mentioned bout her, I instantly felt like going back home right away...Perhaps Im not a girl who like my boyfriend kept mentioning bout a gurl or the girl he once loved so deeply....
Anyway...I guess it should be over...I just have to love him less...So that whenever anything happens, my heart wouldn't hurt so easily...
Recently, I don't know why when I glance at CF back, I felt like I regretted breaking up with him...But like what I've said, once over, its over....There is always no turning back of time...What I've regretted the most is losing Joseph...The guy who I once loved the most and forever....He would always have a place in my heart...I don't know last month,I've dreamt of him twice,saying that he broke with his gf..and he came back for me....I accepted him instantly....But when I realised it was just a dream, I broke into tears....Why it has to be a dream? And why would I dreamt the same thing twice?!! I was feeling so angered why he can't belong to me?? Why he must be the guy who I'd always love no matter what....? Why we are not meant to me? Why we have to be cousins!!!!
Perhaps now I would think all guys are bad...insincere...flirty...Perhaps it may be due to Tv influences whch portrayed guys are antagonists...Now I don't belive him anymore also...How cna I put my trusts on guys when I'm hurted always...? Besides, what happened to my "friend" is also a good lesson not to trust guys...They can be sweet when they wan something...But...they're all the same...

He really loves me or ...?

I really don't understand why I would involved in this stupid thing called love again...I don't know why he wants to be with me...He shows that he cares for me...But of course, I could sense that he still loves his ex and his best friend, CP...When he talked bout them, I would get angry and sad...He never truly loves me as he loves them, dont u think so? He always praises them but he never praise me...Why I couldn't find a guy who truly loves me for who i am? Sigh...I guess I should stop myself from continuing loving him...He says he love me but I never trust him that he meant it...That is why now I gave him freedom n says that he is allowed to mention about his ex or cp...Coz I knw that one day soon I and him would end...Coz he never truly loves me like he loves them...He kept comparing them v me...So perhaps it was my fault that I've never done my part too good...Im not pretty like them..I dont have good attitude and mood like them...Im xiao qi and so on...So sooner or later, we would broke one day...Tht;s wht he said to me...so, I gues i should move on v my life and stop liking him...Right???

His first kiss

Yii...I don't know what to write...I still misses his kisses...just that i really can't believe that i actually brought him home..Sounds impossible, huh?? I'm thinking the same way though...It was on the 17th Sept 2008..right after tuition..he brought me home...at first we were just chatting...then,mum was bathing upstairs...so,he hugged me..hehe...i love his hugs...:) coz i felt so secure in his arms...Then,mum was downstairs doing her stuff...uhm...as usual,we chat and still hugging each other...Then,mum slept awhile in the guest room...So I was lying on his chest and i could actually hear his heartbeat...So i teased him..and he started blushing...So cute and innocent...Then, he looked at me...He asked if i dare to kiss him...I looked away and say that i don't know...Oww...he seems hurted..so i looked at him and said that i would like to give it a try...Then,he kissed me...We french-kissed...I felt so "high" at that time...I guess he was as well...Coz both of us just cant stop kissing...and it was as if we wanted more...We kissed for almost an hour till around 5pm...It was when mum suddenly came out from the room...Haha...sighed...When mum came out,we quickly pushed each other away and started mumbling over something and asked each other questions...Kinda silly..haha....To be honest, i love his kisses...and i love his hugs...And today we kissed again...Just a short kiss,though...Cause we're in school ma...haha...It's funny that when we tried to kiss again, one of the librarian comes out from the library and she was someone who we knows...So,we quickly acted as we're chatting or something...
I really hoped that our relationship would last long...:)
It's alright...I have faith in us...:)

bosco cming msia

BOSCO is coming down to Malaysia on Feb2.3.and 4~!!! And i cant go there:(
haiz....bosco....i really hope to go to the kingary's promotion to meet you and ur fans:)
but too bad...chances are really slim~!! I read the forum...Bosco,ur are real cutie:)

UPDATES:2 Feb (730pm) @ SG Wang, KL Concourse Level & Kim Gary 3 Feb (130pm) @ Gurney Plaza, Penang - Kim Gary4 Feb (730pm) @ City Square, JB - Kim Gary

Too bad...i cant go~!! ergh~! BTW....bosco im really proud of you~!!! hehe...:)
Will meet you next year sooon!~!!
Love you:)

About bosco~!!

Ooh my Gosh...!! I love Bosco a lot...Hope that i'll have the chance to take pictures with him...Like michiyo the girl i met in friendster...wonder if bosco have friendster or not..hm...I LOVE HIm a lot...Wish to meet him in person...REcently i had been day-dreaming bout him...Hey..it's the first time that i day-dream...Well im dying to buy all the dramas or movies he acted...Especially the Wars of In-Laws...Love Myolie Wu a lot too..she's really talented...And so was BOSCO~!! HUhu....Here are some details bout bosco...WELL...recently i visit www.bosco-wong.com to check on the news bout him...:)
Bosco would come 0n 20th jan...but i guess i couldnt come:( tears going to roll down d...im sad of course~!!i hope he would come again next year...
Here’s the latest update!!! It has been confirmed that Bosco will be flying to Nagoya on January 17th, 2007 to film outdoor scenes for “The Seventh Day” [最美麗的第七天]. We will announce the flight details later when we have more information, so please be patient!! He is tentatively scheduled to stay and film there for approximately two weeks.
Also, Bosco has recently completed the filming for a gameshow called “Is That Right” [問題娛樂圈]. So remember to watch out for the airing time of that!!
And finally, if you didn’t know, there are many Bosco series being aired: “Dicey Business” has just completed last week; “The Price of Greed” is currently released overseas, and “Devil’s Disciple” will be released overseas as well on February 2nd, 2007. So remember to watch out for those as well!!
BOSCO...!! I WILL SUPPORT YOU ALWIX...!!! LOVE YOU A LOT~!!

School Reopens~!

Today school reopen...Erm...i don't prepare to go to school yet...Yeah...I'm addicted to teevee...I love my TV sooO much that i hardly wants to leave it:(
Ling Mao Chun a.k.a. Pat Lau Ming from the drama "Wo De Ye Man Nai Nai"...is SOoO cooL...And HandSome...I like him BecausE he WaS liKe a hero...you know...He is also Pat Lau Ming...A thieve who robs the bad rich people and gives the money to the poor...A person who "menegakkan keadilan"...To me a person like him...So good,handsome,kind-hearted,patient,loves his wife,Ting Lik....Huhu...wish i have him as a husband...Haha...one secret...I dreamt of Bocso Wong(Ling Mao Chun) today...I became his wife...Haha...such a sweet dream...But I hate it when i woke up and realised it was just a dream...If only it was reality...*smiling*
I'm sad because i can't watch the first part of the last episode:~( When I woke up yesterday night at 1.30am,realised that the first part had finished:~( Mao Chun,sorry...really sorry...All is my stupid bro's fault...He can watch the SunWukong in the morning but he dowan~!!!~
I was thinking...If only i can take a knife and KILL him straight away...Sorry...i always say this when im in anger but i dont meant it...But WHO knows?? I may...
School reopens saw strawberry...He was still the same...How dare he said that all the form4s looks older...ISHK~!! But i like him once...Now?? Er...a bit nia...Coz i had my target d ma...
Since now i'm 17,this year is such an IMPORTANT year...So,no play play d...:( *sob sob*
But...after 18....i have my mission d ohr~!! I had even made a list on my book...
Huhu...Syaoran and Bosco Wong forever~!!!
*I like Bosco Wong because of his Pat Lau Ming...I like a hero like him de ohr...Hey...which girl doesnt like a hero?? A hero whois brave...just like pat lau ming:) *blushing*